But Stassi is sorta feeling down about being single on her birthday… Montauk seems positivelyDownton Abbey-esque compared to the body-odor festival happening across the country in Sonoma for Arianas bday shindig.
Basically, everyone keeps farting inside the RV.
Because Im so very witty, Ive decided to rename this vehicle the FartV.
Credit: Bravo
It looks completely foul.
She rinses off with two used(!)
Is it possible to have a man-boob infection post-reduction?
Well, Scheana is already hating on it right from the start.
She doesnt like shellfish!
She doesnt like skinny-dipping!
But she does enjoy dancing on a bar while performing a mediocre pop tune.
Back at NASCAR, Sandoval meets one of the drivers and asks him to sign his flat iron.
Yes, the man is boldly carrying around his own flat iron at a NASCAR event.
Which ladys purse is that secretly being held in?
I bet Brittany is being a team player.
Later, the group takes a ride on the Ferris wheel.
Sandoval and Ariana proceed to have fake sex in their car in front of their friends and Arianas brother.
But darkness looms just around the corner: The FartVs toilet is clogged.
Apparently, Jax is a heavy TP user in the bathroom.
This is, again, the least shocking revelation of all time.
The Wirkus twins seem kinda easy to impress.
Everyone sits down for some lobster and Scheana is immediately not into it.
She doesnt believe people should eat anything with claws, like cats.
Yup, she said that.
She also prefers not to work when she eats like, she buys pre-shelled sunflower seeds.
Something tells me Scheana is not big on the foodie scene in LA.
Theyre all sitting down for roughly two minutes before Kristen asks which ones have banged.
Always the elegant dinner guest.
Its two different episodes, really, but lets get back to Bangtown.
The NASCAR folks go out to dinner and have a discussion of how rude Jax is to Brittany.
He does treat her like a piece of property but, again, does this surprise anyone?
I was more surprised Jax used so much toilet paper.
During the dinner, Ariana realizes Lala has unfollowed her on all social media.
In this world, thats like setting someones grandma on fire.
This does not fly well with Ariana.
We briefly see Lala at Sur, trying to have a heart-to-heart with Lisa.
It goes kinda meh.
She basically thinks everyone is talking about her and she needs to leave this negative environment.
Im not really sure shes self-aware as to the conflicts shes also caused.
Stassi tries to set her sights on Kyle but the blonde fella is pretty hammered.
He cant remember her name, which is strike one.
He tells Stassi her bathing suit looks like a turtleneck and she looks like Steve Jobs.
Then, he mentions he can see her nipple.
Thats like the hat trick of crappy things to say to Stassi.
Although, I do agree Stassi sounds like a made-up name and could be hard to remember.
Finally, Stassi is ready to leave.
The second hour of thisVanderpump Rulesspecial is just aSummer Househour.
Maybe thats what makes it special?
