For those who arent aware, Lisa Vanderpump plans a bizarre photo shoot each year for no discernible reason.
Theres no clear place these photos are displayed and no sense of what exactly they are used for.
As Jax explains, even the Sur website has old photos of Stassi and Kristen.
Credit: Bravo
They havent worked at the House of Goat Cheese Balls in like 12 years.
But mostly it was a lotta anger and drunk rage.
Romance is so fun.
This is not a huge revelation but man does Stassi love goat cheese.
I would guestimate that Stassis body make up is 65 percent wine and 35 percent goat cheese.
The larger revelation, though, is that Kristen has a support dog.
This sounds an awful lot like sea monkeys.
But the main purpose of the lunch is to get Stassi moving on online dating.
Shes hesitant but eventually fills out her profile, which basically lists wine and ranch dressing as her interests.
She is surely going to score a winner.
Katie and Tom head over to Villa Rosa to pay a visit to Lady Vanderpump and her swans.
Awww thats so sweet.
Its basically an eh.
She sits them down and tells the pair that shes not really sure about their dedication to marriage.
Clearly, she watched some of the dailies from the New Orleans shoot.
Katie starts crying again a great sign and admits that they do have problems.
Next, Ariana and Lisa go riding because thats what a boss does with one of her restaurants bartenders.
She encourages Stassi to not wear underwear in case her date wants to cop a feel.
But Stassi is insistent upon looking thin and wearing multiple layers of Spanx.
Meanwhile, the fellas ofRulesare having their own little pre-party with some at-home spray tan technicians.
Like, dude knows what you look like and who you are.
Shes pretty honest with him and admits she doesnt really do any physical activity aside from shopping and lunch.
She says that shes convinced sleep is why Im pretty.
Almost immediately, the date asks how long shes been single.
So it finally comes time for the Sur photo shoot and its… a complete letdown.
The fake pig appalls Scheana.
Not cool, she texts Kristen.
Im guessing she doesnt approve of the waste of plastic?
But like theres no outrageous pool setting or crazy poses.
Theres not really even any drama at the shoot.
Well, Scheana does start weeping after telling Katie that she misses her.
Ariana is somehow convinced to lie across one of the tables naked while Sandoval flanks her.
He gives a nice speech on how to deal with a boner when one is in a photo shoot.
I hope aspiring skunk-haired models took note.
I also hope that table was wiped down thoroughly with some Clorox Wipes post-naked shoot and pre-dinner crowd.
