Has the staff of Chilis attended magazine parties and mimed masturbation with drinks?
But thats why the staff of Sur makes for magical, wondrous reality television.
There are few shows I look forward to as much as I doVanderpump Rules.
Credit: Bravo
It just feels warmer and more pleasant whenVanderpump Rulesis on television.
So lets get to this fried goat-cheese-ball hour of television.
First of all, Im saddened to see Lala has not made the opening credits yet.
I would have hoped to see her in that weird slo-mo/fast-mo, unenthusiastically reviewing the reservations.
So its been months since we last checked in, but not a helluva lot has changed at Sur.
Jax is still behind the bar.
Scheana and Katie are still serving crispy chicken and strawberry-rinis, or whatever theyre called.
Some developmentshaveoccurred, though.
He sorta looks like Courteney Cox inScream 2.
Oh, and its quite possible Scheana has new eyes.
In her confessionals, she has really bright eyes that look like contacts.
Or maybe she had some sort of cornea filler.
I put nothing past these people.
While the others work, Kristen and Stassi prepare for the emotional bloodbath a.k.a.
Stassi manages to convince Kristen not to wear her fake engagement ring.
Either way, probably a good idea to leave it home.
Tom Sandoval is not shocked.
He considers oral sex to be L.A.s handshake.
What do you think L.A.s version of a bow is?
NEXT: What happens at theOK!
She then heads to the bar (obvs) for wine and a little gossip with her boys.
Sandoval almost immediately blurts out that Kristen went down on Brittany.
Lisa reacts as if someone told her Lindsay Lohan has a new, weird accent.
is pretty much her response.
Its finally time for theOK!
Magazinepartay, and the crew finds their table and the bottle service.
Unfortunately, Lala and James find the same table and basically just go HAM on the entire group.
I see that everyone here has not been working on their summer bodies, quips Lala.
That does not go over well, nor does James insinuation that Katie is pregnant.
Im guessing this doesnt happen at theVanity FairOscar party.
She wants to be Lisas assistant, which maybe seems like not the best idea.
Lisa says Katie, though, is an exemplary employee.
Of course, Katie takes a big gulp of wine just as Lisa pays her the compliment.
She claims it didnt happen.
Its hard to tell if Jax is trying to rat her out or is proud she did it.
Either way, this entire scene occurs with him having a big paint stain on his face.
Schwartz and Katie also have a new apartment and a dog named Butter.
They have a girls night where Scheana, Stassi, and Kristen come over to talk wedding stuff.
Stassi has bedazzled glasses for everyone and Scheana has decided to wear what appear to be Catwoman costume pants.
But it eventually deteriorates into trash-talking James and Lala.
Across town, James and Lala are doing the exact same thing!
Lala throws out some zingers Ill give her that.
Ever-supportive Schwartz then says he, too, had a similar incident.
Peak television, ladies and gentleman!
