he declared in Part 16 ofTwin Peaks,No knock, no doorbell.
Goodbye Dougie daze in the glitzy wasteland of Las Vegas.
Next stop: Twin Peaks.
Credit: Suzanne Tenner/SHOWTIME
Kyle MacLachlan made the resurrection of his signature role an electrifying pleasure.
Doctor, will you confirm my vitals are A-okay?
Oh, they were.
And so the rapturous nostlagia hits of Part 16 was an interrogation of nostalgia itself.
It can bring pleasure, it can bring despair, it can make us mad.
Cooper is a good nostalgia worth recollecting and internalizing.
He embodies virtues that are timeless and encoded in better parts of our cultural identity.
He has always been there, waiting to be ignited and activated with a SHAZAM!
Yet even the reboot of Cooper had some downer side effects.
By going back to being his old self and his old life, Cooper threatens their well-being and growth.
He made arrangements with Mike the One-Armed Man to manufacture a replacement version of himself.
Especially now that Janey-E knows that Dougie hasnt been/isnt the Dougie shes always known?
Other pasts arent so easily recovered.
Others pastsshouldntbe revived at all, for their sake and ours.
Nostalgia can be dangerous, a fantasy projected upon the world, diminishing and warping it… Audrey Horne, where are you?
Are you dreaming your life and maybe dreaming into others like the confabulating heartbroken heroine ofMulholland Drive?
Does all ofTwin Peaks: The Returntake place in theInland Empireof your fractured mind?
Or have you been soul-jacked and Tulpified by Mr. C, just like the woman formerly known as Diane?
Whoisnta Tulpa in this show?
HasTwin Peaksgone fullBattlestar Galacticaon us here at this late hour?
Billy Wilders classic film noir is one of Lynchs favorite movies.
Its a cautionary tale about nostalgia in general and Hollywood illusion/delusion in particular.
Lynch had a meta-experience inspired by the film a rude awakening that actually proved the points of the movie.
The scales fell from his eyes and he was born again bummed.
He wanted the fantasy version of Hollywood ofSunset Blvd.
After this week, we see thatSunset Blvd.speaks meaningfully to Audrey, too.
The irony of her full-on psychic retreat lies in her would-be comeback vehicle,Salome.
A dropping of illusion a psychic striptease.
She was more than ready for this close-up.
She made Audreys Dance into something more elaborate, her version of the dance of the seven veils.
But then it wall went weird.
A bar fight broke out.
An act of self-revelation?
Regardless, there was a close-up, and it didnt look like Audrey was ready for it at all.
It was the end of Part 2.
The song was called Shadow.
Perhaps they had it, but we were left to wonder what Richard had been told.
Did the man present himself as Cooper?
Did Richard think he was accompanying a heroic knight working undercover on a righteous errand?
Either way, Richard had become enthralled by him, and in thrall to him.
Can you blame him?
Charlie, his mothers peculiar, maybe gaslighting husband.
Red, the underworld Sparkle baron boss who had turned him into a worthless peddler of dime-bag poison.
Mr. C was also on the hunt for transcendent satisfaction.
Specifically, he was searching for a place.
Mr. C is not a thing of this world.
Does Mr. C want to meet his creator?
Does he want reunion with this being?
Or might he have a bone to pick with this monster maker?
Mr. C could be the Thanos of Marvel Comics, chasing a mad romance with the personification of Death.
The respective journeys of this mirror twin father-son combo brought them to a fork in the road.
I mean this literally.
Mr. C had arrived at a set of coordinates given by two people.
Mr. C quizzed Richard like a sphinx interrogating a questing traveler.
Richard said hed go to the two that match.
Youre a very bright boy, said Mr. C. And were very close to the two that match.
But Mr. Cs attaboy!
No, Richard was a dim-bulb idiot.
But I doubt Mr. C would have come clean.
Mr. C is a king of pain, and he had Richard wrapped around his finger.
The dubious coordinates pointed to a rock upon a hill.
I thought of Uluru, a.k.a.
(Bookmark this idea.
Well come back to it when we discuss all things Audrey at the Roadhouse.)
Mr. C would give Richard no such reprieve here.
He ordered Richard to trudge up the hill to the rock with a beeping gear a coordinate locator?
a cosmic stud finder?
and to only stop when it began to make a continuous sound.
Why not do it himself?
Richard eager to kindly and totally clueless did as he was told.
Richard climbed the mount.
He scrambled upon the rock.
He let the beeping guide him until it went from dashed to continuous.
And then he stepped in it an invisible snare that jolted him with a loud, vibrant ZARK!
Look at me, Pa!
Im top of the world-mound!
And so it went that the Sparkle salesman got a sparking death.
But it was an ironic one.
Dont wanna be ya!
Richards deadbeat, deadpan dad was hardly moved by the fireworks.
Oh, he said.
Yes, Mr. C, those were indeed the wrong coordinates.
Theory confirmed, asshole!
Goodbye, my son.
Mr. C sauntered back to his truck and whipped out his latest iPhone and thumbed a text.
Message:
:-) ALL.
But the text sent at 2:05 a.m. wouldnt send.
He would have to wait before proceeding with his own immortality project, and do so alone.
See you at the finale, Mr. C.(Recap continues on page 3)
Big, bad binoculars!
he said, as if shocked to stumble upon fellow human beings.
Still, Jerry could see well enough to understand that someone had just blown up.
He freaked out and blamed the messenger.
He stomped on the binoculars, cursed them, shamed them.
Just a day in the life of Jerry Horne.I read the news today, oh boy…NOT.
Cant we just turn on, tune in, drop out?
Big, bad TV!
Bad, bad, bad TV!
We watched them watch Dougies house, gazing into the windshield like it was a big-screen TV.
Chantal and Hutch were masquerading as house painters.
Maybe none of this was on Lynchs mind when he shot the scene.
Honestly, I was.
And I wonder if LynchFrost wanted us to wonder why.
Why would I ever want to see people I love get traumatized?
And so they waited to make their move, and we waited with them.
You hear that bird this morning?
Sure as s did, said Chantal.
It was small talk.
But embedded, I think, with Lynchian subtext.
I had a dream.
And for the longest time, there was this darkness.
And it seemed that love would make any difference, and it did.
So, I guess it means that there is trouble until the robins come.
In Part 16, the robins began coming home.
No wonder the Tarantulpas resented the sound of their wake-up calls.
(Okay, maybe not all of these agents of the good are nice guys.)
Good riddance, said Chantal.
But there was more goodness still to come.
(Recap continues on page 4)
The absurd mystery of the strange forces of Agent Coopers existence.
They puzzled over his condition.
Well, in this case, it does!
They came bearing a gift of deluxe nourishment, plates of gourmet finger sandwiches.
Weve seen this before, said Rodney, standing over Dougie.
This thing happens, and you dont feel like eating the hospital food…
I bet theyre very familiar with incapacitated men in hospital beds.
Bradley leaned toward Dougie to get a closer look.
It was, like, what?
Hes more impressed by old-school electricity the cranking, clanking, smoking industry of it.
It speaks to his artisans soul: Like nature, another fascination, electrified machinery makes stuff.
A tumor grows in the head.
Just because you dont see it doesnt mean its not, you know, whacking you.
But what happens when things go wrong?
The detectives flashlight flickered.
The script, which had been circulating the internet for years, tells two parallel stories.
One concerns a quirky detective searching for a secret dimension while being hunted by mystery men with electrical powers.
Each tale takes place in a strange, industrial, spiritually troubled city.
You wonder if maybeTwin Peaks: The Returnis basicallyRonnie Rocketin disguise a reincarnated, Tulpified, doppelgangerRonnie Rocket.
But it also recalls late 19th century/early 20th century attitudes toward electricity.
Agent Cooper was swimming back toward consciousness.
The prodigal was coming home to his Blue Rose papa!
Yes, I know, I totally lost you there.
Let me translate to language we all understand:
Gordon Cole was sensing a disturbance in The Force.
And some of it was good!
The Violent Bear It Away.The spectacle of chivalry continued at Lancelot Court.
But a bird did fly overhead to start this game-changing sequence aboutdeus ex machinaprovision and inexplicable grace.
It cawed like a crow, or a raven, or something dark and hungry.
But the righteous werent on the menu, not today.
In the van, bird-brained Heckle and Jeckle cracked wise.
Looks like a fing circus parade!
screeched Chantal as she took sight of the pink lady Andies carrying stuff into the Jones house.
Hutch knew a guy named Sammy who died.
Feel bad about that?
Eh, said Hutch.
Lets live it out more.
Chantal herself was working at a deficit.
She was out of chips and she was pissed.
She was already on edge when a dark angel showed up out of nowhere to push her over.
The credits called him Polish Accountant.
He parked in front of Hutch and Chantals black van.
He asked them to move they were blocking his driveway.
But her attitude only accentuated the blinkered consumerism she represented.
If they wouldnt move, he would move them.
Hutch wisely recognized that their operation had been blown by this batty man and suggested they flee ASAP.
Polish Accountant had a machine gun.
Polish Accountant is like Ben Affleck Accountant!
(And maybe Ben Affleck Dark Knight, too?)
He perforated the vans windshield, winging Chantal.
Only then did she heed Hutchs suggestion to scram.
Polish Accountant wasnt finished with his business.
He pulled the trigger and strafed the drivers side of the van.
Chantal, who died dumb and hungry, her appetite for torture never quenched.
He pulled the trigger again and riddled the back of the van.
R.I.P Hutch, who died a dim enabler and equally unfulfilled reaper of lives.
Their van slowed and drifted to a soft, thudding halt.
They didnt paint a pretty picture.
They were hipster cynics and new realism critics, booing and hissing at scenes of cornball justice and goodness.
They got canceled; the show continued on without them.
But how to make sense of Polish Accountant, who willingly surrendered to FBI agent Wilson and his partner?
But I liked how Lynch abstracted the whole business, turning Polish Accountant into a kind of Karmic agent.
It might be worth noting that Lynch has an affectionate regard for Poland.
The locale helped inspire his reincarnation as a digital filmmaker withInland Empire.
Poland is essential to a transforming, enriching experience; perhaps Lynch was honoring it with this Polish redeemer.
Meanwhile, the Mitchums watched the whole violent show while crouched behind hedges with guns drawn.
Bradley: What the f kind of neighborhood is this?
Rodney: Well, people are under a lot of stress, Bradley.
They decided it would be wise to get out of there.
Should we be wondering if their lines were meant to foreshadow another move, as well?
Say, Janey-E and Sonny Jims relocation to Twin Peaks?
Mike the One-Armed Man appeared, projecting himself into the hospital room from his Red Room residence.
You…are…awake, said the spirit with his backwards-rewound slur.
Finally, said Mike, speaking for, like, everyone still watching this show.
Cooper was told Mr. C never went back into the Black Lodge.
You wondered if Cooper knew as much.
He ordered up a new Dougie to fill the void he was about to leave.
Mike indicated hed get right on that.
Will this new Dougie be like the old Dougie or will he be like Cooper?
So did Janey-E and Sonny Jim.
He had sincere, great affection for all of them.
And it was time to leave it behind.
He thanked Dougies boss for being kind and decent to him.
Youre a fine man, Bushnell, said Cooper as he bid him goodbye.
Our Fab hero had been reunited with himself, and he was playing all the hits.
As Cooper finished suiting up, the director turned up the music the soaringTwin Peakstheme Falling.
It was nipple-hardening awesome.
He went to the street and got in the car.
He was driving, damn it: Agent Cooper was done riding in the rumble seat.
He zipped into traffic, whizzed though lane changes.
Sonny Jim was impressed.Dad can drive!
Really good!Janey-E didnt need to be told.
She was feeling it, too.
She kept giving Dougie Baby, you’re free to drive my car!
You got the sense she was one hard bump in the road from an orgasmic yelp.DOUGIEEEEEEEEEEE!
It was Mr. Cs :-) ALL.
text, arriving 14 hours or so after he had sent it.
The Falling theme had bled into this scene, but it ended abruptly the second Diane saw the message.
Diane was shook, as if triggered.
Like Cooper, the end of her dreamy existence was over.
Unlike Cooper, all it did was wake her fully to the waking nightmare of her life.
She responded to Mr. C by texting the complete sequence of coordinates she had seen on Ruths arm.
Diane opened her purse to return her phone.
We got to see inside her black bag.
We saw a pack of American Spirit cigarettes and a gun.
Suddenly, the rules of Chekhovs Gun were in effect.
Once something like that is shown, it has to go off.
Which way would Diane go?
She approached the moment of decision like a death march.
It was the same awful tune Lynch used to introduce Mr. C back in Part 1.
What followed was powerful on many levels.
Gordon Cole was expecting Diane.
He had been tracking her via his remote viewing abilities psychic, technological, both.
She didnt need to knock, she didnt need to ring a doorbell.
Cole knew she was there, outside the door, and he told her to enter.
She did as she was told.
Diane always does what powerful men tell her to do.
Or at least, this version of Diane does.
Albert offered her a drink.
She opened her purse.
Cole watched nervously, as if knowing what it contained.
She took out her cigarettes, not her gun.
(Recap continues on page 7)
She talked.
The story was a nightmare noir from beginning to end, but it had a number of movements.
It was three or four years after she had lost touch with Cooper.
She was still working at the bureau.
He showed up in her apartment in the middle of the night.
No knock, no doorbell.
She was thrilled to see her old friend.
She stayed thrilled even as he seemed indifferent to her person.
He only wanted to know what was going in at the FBI, nothing about her.
He made a move to kiss her.
The second they kissed, she knew something was profoundly amiss.She got scared.
Mr. C saw it.
Did it turn him on?
And his face…And thats when it started, she said.
She looked again at her phone.
There was another happy face ALL message; another nudge.
Once again, Diane was shook.
She said: Im in the sheriffs station.
She said: Im not me!
And then she reached for the gun.
Tammy made an instant diagnosis.
Gordon Cole had other things on his mind than ancient history: Sheriffs station?
Conclusion: Laura Derns Diane has never been the real Diane.
She was a doppelganger Diane, a Tulpa like Dougie, manufactured by Woodsmen at the convenience store.
This was confirmed in a follow-up scene in the Red Room.
Diane enter the space with no knock, no doorbell.
She was just there, sitting in a chair, cool, calm and collected.
For a brief moment, she had her wits and agency restored.
It was the least the Lodge lands could do for her.
Mike greeted her by telling her that she had been manufactured.
I know, she said.
And then she was made ugly.
Some invisible force knocked her jaw loose and crimped her at the sides as if squeezing a can.
Her face cracked like an egg.
A golden pearl of Garmonbozia popped out.
Her head blew off, and then she blew up altogether in a ZARK!
of white heat electricity.
Something of her was left behind.
But it wasnt yellow anymore.
It was silver or maybe platinum blond, like her hair.
R.I.P., Tulpa Diane.
Im sorry this happened to you.
But I have questions.
If Dougie wasnt the only Tulpa, then how many other Tulpas might there be?
Has Mr. C seeded America the world?
with Tulpas to do his bidding as needed, when needed?
(Im wondering if Buella and all of her backwater assassins including Darya and Ray are/were Tulpas.
Why would he commend her for behaving like a human unless she wasnt human?
Is that why hes seeking out the horned demiurge that is the Experiment?
To steal his/her superior creative powers?
If Dern was Tulpa Diane, where is Diane Prime?
There, we can speculate an answer.I presume shes at the sheriffs station at Twin Peaks.
Well soon find out the truth of all these matters…maybe.
and arranging a flight to Spokane via the Mitchum jet.
They have hearts of gold!
They really, really do!
The end ofTwin Peaks: The Returnis nigh, the mystery is almost over.
The thought wrecks me as much as it excites me.
