Dan Fogelman is here to make you cry.

dramaPitchon Fox and the “it’s everyone’s 36th birthday!”

dramaThis Is Uson NBC.

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Credit: Paul Drinkwater/NBC

The latter of which is, ostensibly, why you and I are here today.

(I’ve already expensed a 36-pack from Costco.

Shhh, don’t tell accounting!)

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Let’s get the sobfest started!

The Birthday Bunch includes:

…Who is Kate!

The two are siblings.

“How did I get here?”

“I ate my dream life away,” she sighs.

and another doctor (played by Gerald McRaney) is filling in.

He’s aware of their situationthe triplets and their complicated positioningand is fully committed to delivering these babies.

“Why’d you find him?”

“I don’t know,” Randall responds.

He tells him about how he was raised by two incredible parents.

How he bought his $143,000 car with cash because he could.

And that he turned out just fine without his bad dad.

“Do you want to come in?”

“Okay,” Randall quickly agrees.

And William, surprisingly, doesn’t attempt to make any excuses for his behavior.

He’s clean now, but Randall once again tells him off, only to be thwarted.

And so, he invites William over to meet his grandkids.

The two meet up at the coffee table, and Toby (that’s his name) introduces himself.

“Do you want to be fat friends?”

“Sure,” she says.

“But I’m going to lose the weight.”

“I guess I’ll lose the weight then,” he slyly replies.

Sure enough, the two go out on a date a few days later.

“Do you want to fool around?”

To which she promptly responds no.

Just as it looks like she’s going to concede, they’re interrupted by Kevin.

A very drunk Kevin.

(Growing Pains, indeed!)

It’s a complicated pregnancy, but Jack just won’t have any of it.

“Only good things are going to happen here today,” he resolves.

However, as Rebecca begins to deliver the first baby (a boy!)

she knows that something isn’t right.

The doctor tells her to rest and that he’ll take it from there.

Jack is ushered out of the delivery room.

When Dr. K finally emerges to update Jack, he’s grim.

Rebecca’s vitals are good, but they lost of one of the babies.

The second is a healthy girl.

But the third, a boy, had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.

The physician, it turns out, knows how Jack feelshe lost his firstborn, too.

But he says that the experience put him on a path to save countless other babies.

(Misty yet?)

They’re wise wordsones we see, very shortly, are put into action by Jack.

“There is no lemon so sour that you could’t make something resembling lemonade.”

That is the moment that four disparate strangers crystallize into a family.

And we, the audience, bawl.