It also happens to be the finale, and I have to say, this season has been aslog.
Does it not feel like three years ago we were arguing about cake?
Age aint nothin but a number when it comes to sparkly things in the Garden State.)
Credit: Bravo
(Like most Housewives kids, surprisingly, they actually seem like exceedingly good kids.)
Itll be the first time shes seen him in eight months.
And I think shes right.
Joe Giudice is in for it.
The Cutest Family in Housewives History, Dolores, decides to go bowling.
Little Frankie…. Frankie do I look pretty?
Dolores asks her son.
You always look pretty.
I mean COULD YOU DIE?
And can the Catanias yo get their own spin-off?
If there were ever a time we needed a show like that, its right now.
Does my recap seem choppy?
My recap seems choppy, doesnt it.
I think its because this episode is choppy.
I wish I could rewind the time, Audriana says, sort of profoundly for a kid so young.
But he has definitely done this, and I think Teresa knows that).
I just want our daughters to know that hes really sorry about letting them down.
Because thats what he did, he let us down.
Teresa this seasons is strong, and shes finally come into her own.
Melissa and Joe Gorga, for their part, think Teresas on the brink of divorcing Joe Giudice.
(Honestly, I wish there were more Joes on this show so this could be more confusing.
Margarets husband, Joe.
They discuss this while shopping at Jonathan Adler for gifts that Margaret has registered for.
Allow me to repeat that: Margaret has registered for birthday gifts.
Is this not gross?
Buy your own damn gifts!
You are not a toddler.
Isnt it presumptuous to assume that everyone would bring you a gift in the first place?
And at Jonathan Adler?!?
A very lovely and very not cheap store?
I said, I lost 11 and a half months with my mom.
I said, You not only did it to me, you did it to our daughters.
Why werent you on top of everything, you know?
Im like, I didnt sign up for this.'
Melissas reaction is all of our reaction: Wow, you said all this to him?
Then they all cried.
Joe Gorga is amazed and hes not the only one.
Isnt this a direct contradiction of what Teresa told us earlier?
Did I misunderstand what she meant when she said she got choked up?
Cameras werent allowed in the prison, so we have only her (conflicting) accounts to go on.
Its like old everything is fine!
So Im not actually surewhathappened in that prison.
Siggys running late, and Dolores is hoping that things are cool once she gets there.
Wait, sorry, who cares, Margaret is mounting a fake horse.
Oh god this is horrible.
Fine, its nice, ugh.
God, Danielle says in response to the news.
Shes just trying to get attention.
Which is exactly what I thought but would probably not say out loud.
But Im going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
(I hope Sprained Siggy gets added to the Sigalit-bedecked wall in the foyer of her Boca house.)
That is straight-up cray.
We believe you, you actually fell just go home, put your feet up and watch some Housewives!
Wait a minute thats what I watch when Im home sick.
What does a Housewife watch to relax?
Its never a good sign when we shift into third person.
I dont want to be friends.
Well, you cant accuse her of not being direct.
I came here to be with Teresa and Melissa, she says.
Which is rude enough, but um…HELLO WHAT ABOUT DOLORES?
Props to Margaret for not throwing her out on her bum leg on the spot.
So points in Pigtails piggy bank for that one.
Siggy, honey, this exchange is not going to age well.
Siggy is not in the right frame of mind to be here, Dolores offers in her confessional.
Shes clearly in pain.
Is this woman amazing or what?
Listen, D: Loyalty is admirable, wonderful and in short supply.
But theres a difference between loyalty and blind loyalty, and your girl is acting kind of bonkers.
My loyalty lies with you, Teresa tells her before she exits right.
And Dolores and I are coming with you.
Wait, where did Michael Campanella go?
Ill see you on the couch, Househeads.
