Lets be clear about three things upfront:
1.
We have been watching theRHOAseason 9 reunion for nearly a month at this point.2.
Now that those are out of the way: Welcome to the Roast of Phaedra Parks, 2k17.
Credit: Annette Brown/Bravo
Give me more offstage house shoes!
Give me more emergency calls for emotional support from long-suffering sisters!
Show meexactlyhow many men there are on staff to carry around these womens completely unnecessary gowns!
Well, except Phaedra.
Phaedra doesnt talk about it at all.
Because Phaedra is a snake in peach clothing.
Pause for shocked reactions.
Phaedra, after briefly gaping like a fish: Something was brought to me, and I repeated it.
Andys reaction: Well now we know.
I would never say that about somebody if you didnt tell me that.
Phaedra… says nothing.
And I think we all know what the answer is there.
Everyone knows what the answer is.
Did she plan to spring this on Phaedra to get the heat off herself?
Is she driving the bus?
Is thisSpeedand Phaedra is Dennis Hopper and Porsha is that bus driver who gets shot?
Is Kandi Sandra Bullock?
Kenya also has exactly no role in this story line, but she makes about a billion peeps.
Ive never agreed with Lil Todd Tucker more.
Then two days ago we talked on the phone and you told me that she said it firsthand.
Um, Porsha: YES WE DO.
I said, I was told this.'
I shouldnt have repeated it.
She is a snake, but she wont play one on TV?
I dont think so.
This is serious, and it deserves a little screaming.
Kandi is absolutely sobbing; everyone else is crying and confused…
Phaedra says nothing.
Kandi leaves the stage, and everyone else follows suit for a break.
Phaedra gets her hair curled.
Porsha cries to her sister that shes just been being used to hurt Kandi.
Phaedra gets her makeup touched up.
Its really some fantastic editing.
Everyone calls immediate bulls because she had the opportunity to correct that rash decision at so many points.
If Porsha says that, then yes.
Porsha apologizes to Kandi in a way that feels very self-aggrandizing, and Kandi doesnt really accept.
I dont know that youve completely copped to it…
I cant change that it happened.
Oh, Phaedra, no you cant.
Your presence was once your present and now your absence can be your apology.
If this show makes it to a season 10, I hope to see you back here.
