Like refusing to continue to pay ungodly sums of money for monthly cable television?
Only Chael Sonnen actually and literallycut a cordwith scissors on this weeksCelebrity Apprentice.
Did I ruin it by over-explaining, or was it simply not that funny to begin with?
Credit: Luis Trinh/NBC
A little bit of both?
Look, you cant blame me for getting excited.
Finally we had some real old schoolCelebrity Apprenticedrama, and we had Cutty McGee to thank for it.
It was poor sportsmanship.
It violated the entire spirit of competition.
And I loved it.
Didnt like, but L-O-V-E-D.
This is exactly the bang out of activity I have been begging to seefor yearson this show.
Now, this isnt exactly what Chael did.
He attempted (poorly, it should be noted) to exploit a loophole in the rules.
It was ridiculous, to be sure.
But weneedridiculousness on this show!Celebrity Apprenticeis supposed to be ridiculous!
We tune in specifically to be exposed to ridiculousness!
Would it have made any sense whatsoever for the Governator to have kept Chael after this blatant rules violation?
I DONT CARE!!!!
Bottom line: We neither want nor expectCelebrity Apprenticeto make sense.
And as long as he keeps it up, I keep him on the show.
Or, in Iseman terms: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin.
Unfortunately, theydidfire Chael.
And all our hopes for absurd team self-sabotage walked out the door with him.
I will not tolerate cheaters in my Boardroom, said Arnold before dismissing him.
Not only should you tolerate cheaters, you shouldencouragethem.
It is theCelebrity Apprenticeraison detre.
Okay, heres what else went down on this weeksCelebrity Apprentice.
I teach a class in Malibu.
In my class we do everything from booty-popping to shaking to rolling.
Hold on… booty-popping, shaking,androlling?
Brooke was not the only one to insist on everyone checking out her ass.
I dont want to make it sound like Im complaining.
And its not like we had actual strippers at this task or anything.
If youre Vince Neil, the answer naturally is chicks in bikinis on the roof.
Even more bizarrely, Project Manager Lisa Leslie let him do it!
There Vince was up on the roof of the shipping container while breast-implanted babes grinded (ground?)
all over him like it was the champagne room at Buns & Roses.
It wasnt just off-brand.
Also, where was Carrot Top?
Bad timing, Carrot Top.
But then the Governator asked Vince whom he should fire.
Just looking at the task today and my performance, it would be me, Vince replied.
SAY WHAT?!?
Its not all that surprising to watch Vince bow out.
If you do, then I am truly sorry for you.
But you should be even sorrier for me.
NEXT: Accio, page 3 of theCelebrity Apprenticerecap!
A Harry Potter RerunLook, I love Harry Potter.
I mean, not as much as Ginny Weasley.
Nobody loves Harry Potter more than Matt Iseman.
But I read all the books.
I saw all the movies.
I have strong opinions on the best tasting Butterbeer (cold, not frozen).
All that said, however, it was kind of a letdown to see another Harry Potter challenge.
Okay, but another Potter-specific task?
We already had one of theseback in season 3.
Now do you think you’ve got the option to take control of the wand?
The answer is never.
you might never forget it.
(And neither can that poor boy, who is no doubt still in therapy.)
Dont worry, I have no idea what happened there either.
I joke about Iseman, but how can you not love the guy?
His enthusiasm is infectious.
And he was totally on his game here.
Is Matt Iseman going to win this thing?
Well see how it all plays out.
But you’re free to see him gradually becoming a bit more comfortable.
But where you saw Arnold get truly annoyed was listening to Porsha.
you could tell Arnold is annoyed when he starts speaking to his nephew in Austrian German.
That creepy stare-down from the balcony during the Lorissas Kitchen task was a good start.
Now, well have to see how it all finishes.
Speaking of finished, thats me.
At least for this week.
Its time for me to apparate that one was for you, Iseman!
out of here, so until next week: Cluck, cluck…Splash!
