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an old joke written one million years before I was born.
I would like to go on record in this publication as being extremely young.
Credit: Vivian Zink/Universal Television/Getty Image; Michael Kovac/Getty Images
I think hes being dramatic.
Okay, so you bought someone an apartment and then they romantically rejected you.
Who hasnt, buddy?
Jody tries and fails to get out of a Later, Baby road trip with Mindy to Bowdoin College.
Morgan cant join them because hes contracted the Zika virus.
In one draft, I suggested that Morgan got Zika because he lives next to a mosquito farm.
At work, Anna introduces her husband to the office staff.
At Morgans apartment, Tamra is helping Morgan film his Zika Diary.
Unaware that theyre filming, Colette talks about Annas husband cheating.
Seconds later, Tamra has accidentally posted the video of Colette online.
Jeremy, Mindy, and Anna all see the video and react with increasing levels of shock.
Mindy turns the car around and drives to New Jersey to confront Ben.
He cant take the car home because hes been drinking and you cant drive like that in the North.
Im amazed that this character still finds new ways to be problematic in every episode.
She misreads Jeremys kindness for romantic affection because shes sort of anEx Machinarobot whos still learning what feelings are.
She kisses Jeremy, and when he British-ly rebuffs her advance, she flees.
Anna seeks shelter at Morgans place, only to get Zika boogers sneezed in her face.
She wisely opts out of staying in his miserable contamination zone.
At dinner in New Jersey, we see that Mindys jealousy wasnt unfounded.
Patricia has designs on winning her ex-husband back.
She even bought Ben a bottle of his favorite local wine, Ray Liotta Vineyards.
Mindy exits in a huff, suggesting that maybeshewont always be a part of Bens life.
Ben realizes that, on some level, he enjoyed having two women fighting over him.
He decides he needs to make things right.
Meanwhile, Jody has finished an entire bottle of whiskey in one scene.
I dont know how this man is still alive.
Jody goes to Mindys apartment to check on her and bring her McDonalds.
She says shes sorry for taking him hostage and they agree to forget the past and be friends.
Honestly, Mindy Lahiri would make peace with her own murderer if he gave her McDonalds.
For a moment, all is well in her universe.
Finally, Morgan collapses in a heap, still incredibly sick with Zika.
And thus, we end our episode, with many of our beloved characters narrowly surviving this story.
Hey, its 2017.
Were all just barely hanging on.
