(Or because they had to wake up and film this episode just hours after the first rose ceremony.
And when you combine a lack of sleep with mimosas, theres just no hope for intelligent thought.
There will be three dates: Two group dates and a one-on-one.
Credit: ABC/Rick Rowell
In other words, good ratings dont just happen, ladies!
But she thinks its because I was just a natural-born bride.
Does this mean we should be investigating her family?
Is there a chance their multimillion-dollar company has everything to do with child marriage?!
The women are dressing up as different brides and having their wedding photos taken with Nick!
After all, Its better than number two.
Or going number two.
At least thats what her nanny always told her about going potty.
Either way, all Corinne knows is shes looking hot…until Brittany walks in.
At this point, hes just done it so many times he cant stop!
Somebody needs a little spanking.
I feel like were learning so much about Franco in this moment.
To quote Nick: Wow, you brought a gun; good for you!
In related news, Ive never been more uncomfortable in my entire life.
And here is where all the kissing begins.
But things reach peak awkward when Lacey kisses Nick and exclaims, Tastes like Danielle.
Only question: How do you know what Danielle tastes like?
According to Franco, he can do that because I know you from before time.
Suddenly, Franco just became the most interesting person on this show.
Translation: Her sexual assault charges from last week are now even more serious.
In other news, Corinne apparently has multiple bosoms.
You say daring, I say pathetic.
By the evening portion of the date, Corinne still cant stop talking about her big moment.
Nick held my boobs today.
He held my boobs, okay?
No one has ever held my boobs like that.
No one ever will.
Just like that, men nowhere start crying at the thought theyll never hold Corinnes boobs like that.
As she tells Nick, when she feels something, she feels it with her whole heart.
Or, perhaps more elegantly, I feelso much.
Gotta love the I promise Im not a sociopath path to love.
Telling her shes sexy, you know, in case you were wondering what Nick sees in her.
Shes also going to keep saying things in threes.
The one moment of the evening Im really bummed we didnt get to see?
Brittany asks Nick, Whose boobs are better: Mine or Corinne?
And now well never know.
Woah there, Raven, dont sweep him off his feet too fast!
before she explains to the women that if they cant handle being interrupted, they shouldnt have come here.
I mean, she couldnt leave Nick without saying goodnight, right?!
Because THAT would be rude.
But Taylor isnt going down without a fight.
FINALLY, we get confirmation these arent real people on these shows!!!
To quote my notes, What the hell is this conversation?
Unless, of course, your nanny can be there for you.
Okay okay, Im done with nanny jokes for the night.
According to Corinne, today involved her stepping out of her comfort zone many different times and angles.
Altogether, she thinks her father would be proud because all she did was literally be herself.
Its honestly just crazy to me the way Im being, Corinne says about Corinne.
As for why she likes Nick?
When I was talking to him, he was like listening.
Guys dont listen to me.
Little tip: Maybe try taking their hands off your boobs when you talk.
So, Liz tells Christen everything.
Instantly, Josephine is so excited she cant breathe.
She even has anticipation pumping through her BLOOD!
Take that, science!
According to her, she hasnt had feelings like this since she was a teenager…so…yesterday.
During the museum tour, things are interrupted by two actors hired to break up in public.
In her scenario, Nicks addicted to alcohol as opposed to his real-life addiction: reality dating shows.
Remember when I said the photo shoot was the most uncomfortable thing?
I WAS SO WRONG.
while Christen watches in disbelief.
Because thats not how you do it.
With that, Nick takes Liz aside to find out if shes just here to be on TV.
Liz claims she never reached out to him post-coitally because she knew he had stuff going on.
Also, she hates phone conversations.
Yeah, Nick cuts her off there.
Ill see you all next week!
