Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis stop by before DeMario falls from grace
DeMario.
If you do cheat, dont go on national television unless you want to get caught.3.
Perhaps most importantly, dont use the word wifey so much.
Credit: Michael Yada/ABC
For now, lets talk about Rachels week two.
To summarize: Lucas is not good at football, and hes even worse at listening.
Rachel reminds him that shes in a dress and he picks up her up and spins her around anyway.
Also, #neverforget that Blake is an aspiring drummer.
The celebs introduce the men to an obstacle course that will prove if theyre husband material.
Any questions as to whyThe Bachelorettehas a much higher success rate??
But Ashtons not so sure.
But its a smooth line, and as Mila Kunis puts it, Someones definitely getting laid tonight.
Blake isnt far behind Iggy, and in the end, the race comes down to Lucas versus Kenny.
However, watching Mila explain whaboom might be the greatest moment of the season thus far.
Lucas demonstrates, but Ashton who mightve done something similar during hisPunkddays calls a foul on the play.
But thats only the beginning.
According to Blake, all this stuff with Lucas ends tonight.
What did he do that was so bad?
Theres no way he was just rude.
The fact that she cant shake it means were talking about a level 2 playground offense, at least.
You know, the decisions that earn you a nickname you never manage to shake.)
And you know all romance is dead the second someone brings up diaper rash.
But even though the night is lacking in romance, theres plenty of Lucas drama to go around.
is here for the wrong reasons.
And to prove it, she can just check out his pores.
That guy has on makeup!
Meanwhile, Id still like to know what a whaboom career is.
(One things for sure: It will definitely involve throat surgery at some point.)
Thankfully, Rachel isnt witnessing this.
According to Josiah, In the jungle, its kill or be eaten.
As he puts it, if they have kids, theyre pretty much screwed.
*Chandler Bing voice: Could these two BE any more alike?
- And does that make them super compatible or a little too similar?
And as DeMario puts it, you could either sink with the fishes or you could swim to shore.
In quite literally no world do fish sink, dude.
Even when theyre dead, they float.
When the guys arrive at the gymnasium, Josiah cannot get over Rachels tights.
(Theyre workout pants, but whatever.)
As he puts it, they fit her body like a Coca-Cola bottle.
Im sorry, WHAT?
(And you know a guys a loser when he calls himself a winner.)
he tells the guys that its time to suit up.
Also, did DeMario just say he was going to represent for Kareem?
Because, much like women in general, theres no way KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR wants any part of that.
And heres where DeMarios loss on the court becomes a loss off the court.
Spoiler: Its DeMario, and according to Lexi, he never broke up with her.
But, unfortunately for him, this is not a new phone, who dis situation.
Im really gonna need you to get the f out, Rachel tells him LIKE A BOSS.
So if any of you were wondering why shes the Bachelorette, you just got your answer.
Rachel drops DeMario like hes hot, and he is on his way home.
For now, shes heading back to the hotel to get ready for the evening portion of their date.
Yeah, next time you’ve got the option to just stop at tears, k?
Speaking of which, Rachel arrives at the mansion the next day ready to put DeMario behind her.
But her stress isnt over just yet because DeMario is at the front gate.
Harrison eventually pulls Rachel aside and updates her on the situation.
With that, she agrees to walk out and meet him.
But the guys arent far behind.
Although, based on how the night was going, maybe theyll challenge DeMario to a thumb war.
With that, I leave you for another week.
