Theres a good chance my mom isnt gonna likeThe Arrangement.
), but because of the shows similarities toBeauty and the Beast.
As Mom always points out,Beauty and the Beasthas a pretty anti-feminist message.
Credit: Daniel Power/E!
Not only does Belle have Stockholm Syndrome, but she spends all her energy trying to change her man.
It doesnt matter how many talking teacups he has!
So lets start with The Beast.
We know right away that Kyle is an A-list movie star because he wears flashy blazers over tight-fitting t-shirts.
Also, where is Shelly Miscavige?
And hey, while were at it, where is Leah Remini?
(Also: Leah Remini does not have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Neither does Carrie Fisher.
And we all just have to sit with that.)
And finally we meet our Beauty, our Belle, our Katie Holmes, Megan Morrison.
She charms her customers, rushes to her audition, and chats with fellow actresses in the waiting room.
(This would be the Bonjour!
There must be more than this provincial life, right?)
Back at his estate, Kyle goes for an intense run in his Lululemons.
Here is where we meet one of the pilots most pivotal characters: the goat.
Thats right: Kyles jog is interrupted by the sudden appearance of a strange goat.
He stops and looks at it: Whats this goat doing here?
Kyle watches pensively as they all baa and stumble away.Hmmm.
Meanwhile, Kyle, Terence and Deann watch the audition remotely.
Here are The Three Imperatives, with Megans answers versus my own:
1.
If you could have anyone elses life, whose would it be?
Her answer: Amelia Earhart.
My answer: Courteney Cox.
(So I could be best friends with Jen Aniston!)
Whats the most dangerous thing youve ever done?
Her answer: hitchhiking from Hoboken to Virginia Beach.
(Sounds dangerous!)
My answer: visiting my friend here in L.A. who literally lives on L. Ron Hubbard Way.
Whats your greatest fear?
Her answer: maximum-security prison.
My answer: being buried alive!
(That, or getting sued for writing these recaps.)
Terence and Deann arent impressed with Megans answers.
Kyle disagrees; he likes this girl.
(Maybe he wants to be Amelia Earhart, too?)
They get drunk and French kiss each other, and Megan cries in the pool.
But Megan is super hungover!
Every interaction between Kyle and his assistant seems weirdly sexual; its all up-close conversations and lingering eye contact.
This is apparently part of the process at the Institute.
At the callbacks, Kyle is unhappy with all the actresses.
He throws a tantrum and starts yelling ABOUT HIS GOATS and how he just needs someone human!
Enter Megan, who nails the audition so hard that Kyle chases her down afterward.
Shes remarkably poised for a struggling waitress whos talking to a movie star while fighting off a brutal hangover.
Her agent tells her to just take it.
(Her agents energy is very no nonsense, by the way.
Megan meets up with Kyle to ask him WTF.
And his explanation is simple: Its about my brand!
Megan laughs at his jet-setting lifestyle: Dont you ever just chill and go to the zoo?
But hes made a pretty compelling argument, so she agrees to think it over.
Megans lawyer friend looks over the contracts and weigh the pros and cons of Kyles offer.
On one hand, its basically indentured slavery.
But on the other hand, Kyle gave Megan three orgasms the other night!
(Almost four, she says with a giggle.)
(You guys, what did she doooo?!)
Seems like Megan has a LOT of soul searching to do before she makes this decision.
In the next scene, Megan has apparently made her decision.
She checks out her new digs (not too shabby!)
and sits down for a romantic contract-signing ceremony.
Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, yall!
Meanwhile, Deann meets with a mysterious new recruit (fresh blood!)
well learn more about next week.
Some other questions for next week: Whats the shady thing from the past that Megan is hiding?
And what exactly is up with Deanns name?
(Did the Institute make her drop the a when she joined?)
And what is the symbolism of the goat?!
Also, will there be couch jumping?
And where oh where is Leah Remini?)
There are nine episodes left.
Thats nine more opportunities for a Leah Remini cameo.
Now thats an Arrangement I can get behind!
