She is not super-jazzed about seeing him.
That ought to just the courts, right?
She tells him he has to be out in the morning.
Credit: Phil Caruso/SHOWTIME
And yet there he is in the morning, making eggs and staying relentlessly cheerful.
Hes like, hey, lets go to Block Island!
Shes like, how about signing these divorce papers instead?
(This whole thing stressed me out way more than it should have.)
Cole comes in and is doing the whole what-were-we-thinking routine.
Alison is still just focused on getting custody of Joanie and asks him to intervene with the judge.
Cole is all: Im just trying to get through.
She agrees to pretend the other night never happened.
Noah comes back inside.
She says, If you touch me, Ill yell rape.
Sounds awesome, you guys!
They get on a ferry and he wants to know why she didnt respond to his letters.
She explains she didnt get them when she was away.
He starts yelling Block Island!
which is actually pretty charming and singing the lyrics toCamelot.
And its weird to go back to the ground where a romance first began, right?
So much has happened between the two of them.
(The Dirty Squid, remember that place?
Its now out of business.
Hows that for a heavy metaphor?)
They sit on the beach and Noah wants to know what her plan is.
Hes rather dismissive of Cole, and Alison, thank goodness, stands up for him.
Noah tells her Cole will only ever see her as damaged goods and will never trust her.
Theyre walking through this beautiful shrubbery and going over the original crime.
He spies a hot tub and is all, score!
Shes like, hey, arent you on parole?
He finds wine and glasses, and starts stripping down and singing, and she cant resist.
She gets undressed and slips in.
Noah is all, hey, why dont I just move to Montauk?
Alison again explains that she wants a divorce.
He tells her he just wants a simple life and to be with her.
He says he has wasted so much time chasing the wrong things.
You are rewriting history.
You and I were a mistake.
You wanted a fling.
But you chose me, who lost a child and who was so incredibly sad.
You couldnt abandon me, so you convinced yourself that you loved me.
And I convinced myself that I loved you because I so desperately needed someone to take me away.
You used me, too.
Thats what happened between us.
(Uh, guess what.
I believe all that to be true.
Though, Ialsobelieve they had great sex, which confused things even further.)
They convince the lady at the local inn to let them stay.
They sit by the fire in Block Island sweatshirts and he tells her hell sign.
She talks about what it was like when she left Joanie.
Im not okay, she says.
He talks about his mothers illness and tells her to just not leave Joanie again.
Im screaming Do not make out!
What shes trying to say is she cant see him because of her custody issues.
So, that explains that, I guess.
Back in his cell, Gunther taunts Noah about Alison and how hot she is.
She reminds me of the girls we grew up with, you know?
He also talks a lot about how shes probably having sex with other people.
Noah holds it together, but barely.
Gunther is not done with him.
He wants to know what Noah is in for.
Noah tells him he hit someone with a car.
Freaky Fraser is not buying it.
People like you dont do time for that.
Gunther promises to sniff out the truth.
He grabs some pages of Noahs out of the typewriter.
He starts reading them aloud.
(No, prison has not made Noah a better writer.)
Its about a swimmer named Jack Hunter.
When Gunther asks who Jack Hunter is, Noah shiftily says he made him up.
Of course, even Freaky Fraser can hear the similarities between John Gunther and Jack Hunter.
He loses his cool and screams at Noah, telling him hes keeping the pages.
Noah wakes up and its the middle of the night.
He hears a weird sound and looks outside.
How can this be?
It looks as though Gunther is strolling through the empty lot.
Noah runs outside, where Alison finds him and asks what hes doing.
They go back inside and settle down by the fire for a super-intense talk.
He tells her about his dads death and how he left Noah the house.
She tells him a little about her mysterious parentage.
We also finally learn the truth about what happened with Noahs mother and boy, its a doozy.
And guess who helped her?
No wonder Noah has so many problems.
They decide to get intimate some more and have sex.
He remembers Gunther coming to his cell and throwing the pages at him.
So Im a loser, is that it?
Noah again pretends Gunter has nothing to do with it, but freaky Fraser isnt buying it.
He wakes up and sees Alison sleeping.
He hears the ferry.
They go back and he signs the papers.
Its very sweet and more than a little sad.
He heads out and semi-creepily watches Alison greet Joanie and sees how happy she is.
He takes the car to head home.
A car smashes into him at a light and Gunthers the driver?!
Noah starts driving like a crazy person to get away and crashes into the guardrail, wrecking the car.
And, of course, it turns out theres no Gunther.
Which leads me to wonder: Did Noah stab himself in the neck?
Maybe well find out next week.
