Zeke’s last stand
Poor Will.
Poor, poor Will.
He wassodetermined to make a big move.
Credit: CBS Entertainment
And even more determined to get credit for it.
He was sick of being treated like a boy when he wanted to play like a man!
He made really dramatic proclamations like I didnt come here to be dragged as a goat.
I came here to play, while pointing violently at his crotch for some reason!
THIS WAS WILLS TIME!!!
He was going to do it, dammit!
He was the swing vote!
More than that, he was the flip vote!
He and healonewould be responsible for sending Zeke home and everyone would know it!
It was all him!
And then he used the idol.
Then the first name came up.
Oh, the drama.
Only he hadnt, because the idol was completely unnecessary.
He sent Zeke home!
Only he didnt, because instead of five votes, all they really needed was three.
(Insert sad trombone noise here.)
You know it to be true.
I dont want to make fun.
Seriously, I dont.
I actually like Will.
Got nothing against the guy.
He went out there as the youngest player ever and has totally done nothing to embarrass himself.
In fact, hes come off quite well.
This is just one of those things that makes the game ofSurvivorso absolutely amazing.
And then handed it to Jeff Probst.
Just wanted to see to it we were all on the same page about what happened there.
The episode begins with Hannah crying after the rock-pulling Tribal Council.
Just a warning: Theres going to be a lot of crying this episode.
I mean,a lot.
Like, an abnormal number of tears will be shed before all is said and done.
David is not crying over burning his idol for no reason, but hes certainly not happy about it.
There is one person whoishappy: Zeke!
This vote was all about David and I going to war together, says Zeke.
And I definitely won the battle.
Hes certainly right about that.
Im trying hard not to get too excited, he adds.
But I feel like Im going to the final five.
Now youve done it, Zeke.
Everyone knows a statement like that is the kiss of death.
As soon as Zeke said that, I knew his days were numbered.
Because its time for the loved ones visit!
Its like that stupid Apple Frankensteins Monster TV ad mixed with E.T.
dying mixed with E.T.
And I get it.
And theres Brets dad, Don, working on his stand-up act on national TV.
And theres Hannah acting as the calm and controlled one in her family.
(Think about that one for a second.)
And theres Wills mom, Irene, who for some reason thinks shes in Timbuktu.
First off, I love the energy from Zekes dad, who just yelled Yeah!
for no particular reason as he ran out.
Im going to start doing that every time I enter a room.
Just blurt it out and see how people react.
Thanks, Zekes dad!
And theres Adam and his brother.
What a magnanimous proclamation to make!
But why make it in the first place?
Adam could have easily just not used the advantagewithoutmaking a big announcement about it.
But he also loves this game and came to play it and play it hard.
His mom loves this game and wanted him to go out and play it and play it hard.
So, Im fascinated and wanting to know whether that little speech was specifically designed as a game move.
And, to be clear, if it was, I have no problem with that whatsoever.
Im guessing he agreed and decided to do the best thing possible with it.
To that I say, well done, Adam even if that was not your true intent.
(But I kind of hope it was.)
Ill take those odds.
He wants to make a move any move!
and tells David he is ready to flip on Zeke.
(Why he didnt just do this a few days prior instead of going to rocks remains unclear.)
After learning Ken is the target, Will goes and tells Ken.
Well, that should certainly prove his allegiance, right?
But then Ken does the least-smart thing imaginable.
The test apparently being: Can You Survive Some Of The Worst Gameplay This Show Has Ever Seen?
Earlier this season, Lucy told Ken to get rid of Jessica, so Ken informed Jessica.
And what did Jessica do?
She sold Ken out and went to Lucy for confirmation.
Remember: Ken was PISSED!!!
And yet, he then goes and doesthe exact same thingto Will that Jessica did to him?
I dont get it.
Is this some sort of bizarro world version of paying it forward?
Is this paying it backward?
And if they ever make a sequel toPay it Forward, can they just call itPaying it Backward?
Also, could they just not make that sequel?
I dont want to be treated like that.
I want to be treated like an adult.
To that, Jay responds, You know what, Will?
Im not here to fluff you.
But still a weird thing to say.
Either way, Zeke is a goner.
Too bad for him.
And too bad for us.
Zeke was everything you want in aSurvivorplayer.
Speaking of nice awkward transition alert!
we have some nice bonus goodies for you.
Like an exclusive deleted scene below.
And ourweekly Q&A with Hostmaster General Jeff Probst.
And well be chatting with Zeke onEntertainment WeeklyRadio (SiriusXM, channel 105) Thursday morning.
And for moreSurvivorscoop, follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Did you bawl like a baby during the loved ones visit?
Would you have handled Adams Crotch Idol?
And whom do you think should and will win from the remaining competitors?
Sound off in the message boards below and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
