A hearty congratulations goes to…
Sit the hell down, Bob Crowley!
Thats right, take a seat, old man!
Credit: CBS Entertainment
But you are no longer the champion.
But your fake immunity-idol-making skills have been officially put on notice!
Thats because of one David Wright.
But lets stick with David for now.
So, in a way, I did win!
you’re able to take all that personal growth garbage and shove it, mister!
Of course, the brilliance of Davids fake idol was more than just paint and beads and shells.
It was performance art, and the performance in this case came courtesy of Jay.
The dude is so likable.
And he played hard.
And, for the most part, well.
Pretty impossible not to dig the guy.
But nottoobad, obviously, seeing as I am about to do the exact same thing here.
But when he started turning into Braggy McGee because of it, things truly went to the next level.
Take me out of the game, b-tches?
Thank you, bastards!
he bellowed as he went back to retrieve it.
No one saw me get the freaking idol.
I have a train oflosersfollowing me back to camp, he mocked as he kissed his new prized possession.
He won an individual immunity.
He found a reward steal and two hidden immunity idols.
Not a dominating game, but a very solid one to be sure.
And then there is his personal story.
The vote should go to who played the best game.
Even a crusty old curmudgeon like me cant help but want to see Adam have a somewhat happy ending.
So, a hearty congratulations to Adam Klein.
But we wereallwinners, really, when it comes to this season.
(Well, not Rachel Ako.
She got voted out first.
That has to suck.)
So lets do the Time Warp again and recap everything that went down in both the finale and reunion.
WARNING: This is my longestSurvivorrecap ever.
Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is as debatable as Zekes choice in shirts.)
And its fun to see all the big moments and big changes people went through.
Look, theres David with no beard!
Look, theres Michaela with no top!
And look, theres Jeff Probst getting absolutely hammered by a wave!
And he didnt even get knocked down!
Why does Jeff Probst have to be so strong and possess a complete mastery over all matters of balance?
I have a fridge full of Muscle Milk, a perma-tan, and the raddest dimples youve ever seen.
What else you got?
Theres a lot of weird stuff going on.
Well come back tomorrow.
I mean, maybe it is.
I dont drink the stuff so I wouldnt know.
I guess that tracks.
Im working with complete morons, Bret complains.
Jay and Dave are going to win this thing.
We have to vote them out.
Its day 36, so we can now open that sucker.
What could it be?
Maybe he gets an extra vote at Tribal Council!
Or can nullify a vote!
Or can force Jeff Probst to do a dramatic reading of the entire script ofDude, Wheres my Car?
Its none of those things.
Its just immunity at the next Tribal Council.
Good for Ken, kind of boring for us.
Just thepotentialit may be out there could make a difference.
Jay does something very stupid and very smart at this challenge.
How amazing is that?
And, in fact, I actuallyencouragepeople to copy, since it is technicallynotcheating since it isnotagainst the rules.
Anyway, here the show FINALLY takes a stand and says, No!
This time were going to make all the players figure it out for themselves!
And then what does Jay do but leave his numbers right out in the open.
Because why wouldnt they?
Remember when I said Jay also did something really smart at this challenge?
Well, Jay is not crazy and the perfect scenario does indeed present itself.
No way any player can get mad at that.
There is a bevy of strategic attacks as opposed to personal ones, and I love it.
This is also illustrated in Jay and Adams last conversation before Tribal, when Jay pleads for another shot.
Bitter rivals with brotherly love is how Adam describes it, and thats pretty accurate.
And pretty special, too.
NEXT: Jay gets played
Man, there has been so much to like about Jay this season.
Its a shame we must go back to making fun of him.
Brets money is on Jeff, and so is mine.
But back to the fake idol.
He worked everyone and worked them hard.
This was just theater…but damn good theater.
Its likeHamiltonmeetsBook of MormonmeetsThe Producersmeets whatever the opposite of the recentRocky Horror Picture Showreboot is.
You guys can chase me, but you got to be quicker than that.
Okay, now I feel legitimately bad for the guy.
Because its not his fault!
That idol looked like the real deal!
But heres why Jay is so great.
But does he go off bitter and ashamed?
You got me, he laughs.
You guys, I hate all of you, dude.
Hes kidding, of course.
Youre all warriors, he adds.
It was mad fun.
Go ahead, Jeffrey.
Thats how you do it, people!
Burned it to crisp.
I know thats his go-to move for fake immunity idols, but still… Show a little respect.
That is a total collectors item you just ruined.
That sucker needs to be saved for posterity.
You dont see me strapping dynamite to Medallions of Power and blowing them up for kicks and giggles.
(Speaking of which, memo to theSurvivorart department: kindly send me any and all Medallions of Power.
Repeat: yo send me any and all Medallions of Power.)
NEXT: Hannahs big mistake
Man, we are only one Tribal Council down.
We have three more to go.
Im going to do us all a favor and get through this next challenge really quick-like.
(By the way, its green here.
As a side note, I never understood the beef people have with participation trophies.
Anyway, Ken wins.
Its his third individual immunity victory and it will not be his last.
He hoots and hollers, and then promptly apologizes for hooting and hollering.
You know what else is beyond me?
you gotta play to win!
And keeping David this close to the end is not a winning move, no matter what she says.
The rest of you, you just lost a million dollars.
Well, not exactly, but the point holds.
Thats not a power move.
Forget for a second David does not end up making the finals and Hannah does.
When she let Bret stay, she guaranteed either David or Adam would beat her in the finals.
Im 100-percent Team Adam on this one.
A bad play by Hannah.
Its another great example of how unique this season is when it comes to noapology strategizing.
This is next-level stuff, people.
And yes, pretty soon we are going to start running out of levels.
And I love it.
I gotta say, when I first saw the setup for the last challenge, I was underwhelmed.
Who can hang on for the longest?That sort of thing.
Here, we got neither.
But boy, was the payoff worth it.
The challenge is basically one we have seen before.
Use a long pole to maneuver bowls through a channel and then stack them at the top.
First to 13 or whoever has the most stacked after 30 minutes wins.
The differing strategies are fascinating.
But his stack doesnotfall, so she hurries her pace.
Ken gets four, then Hannah ties him.
Ken gets five, then Hannah ties him.
They tie at six.
They tie at seven.
Ken furiously tries to get one more on, but there are only seconds left.
What do you do here?
If you hurry, you may be able to get one more on in time and win.
But in the rush, you could also knock your entire stack down and lose.
I probably would have wussed out.
I went too far on that last one.
Anyhoodle, Ken wins!
But Ken doesnt know that.
He probably thinks he has a good shot at it due to all his immunity victories.
He really is in a no-win situation here literally.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the quote of the season and it comes from Adam.
If they dont vote you out, I lose the game.
So what does it matter?
I end up in third place instead of fourth?
Im not here for that.
The only way I have any kind of chance whatsoever is if you go home.
A million times yes!
This is exactly the attitude you want from everySurvivorcontestant.
Hes had an air of desperation all season.
Everyone has an agenda.
Unfortunately for him, Ken is also there listening and votes him out.
If Ken doesnt flip, then David probably wins that fire-making tiebreaker and wins the game.
He was that close.
And keep in mind, he easily could have been the first one out.
Hell get another shot, of course.
David will be getting an invitation to return at some point.
It is only a matter of when.
We finally have our final three Ken, Hannah, and Adam.
And at this point, the outcome is pretty much decided.
This tells you they found those two to be the most beatable people out there.
Which also tells you they are not going to vote for them at the end.
Also, this jury is just different.
Either way, my compliments.
Okay, lets get to the juror questions, which we will handle one by one.
NEXT: The Jury questions begin!
TAYLOR
Taylor says he still hasnt made up his mind whom to vote for how millennial of him!
so asks them to each pitch him for his vote.
Essentially, he is offering them an opportunity to make opening statements.
Thats probably her best argument, even if the order often made little-to-no sense.
SUNDAY
Sunday asks if they played more like a Millennial or a Gen Xer.
Thankfully, the answers are a bit more interesting than the question.
Thats actually Hannahs best strategy at this point and smart of her to point out.
She needs the jury to see her as the person who called the shots.
Call that answering session a draw between the two of them.
David, you are my no.
2 alliance, he says while starting to get choked up.
1 is my daughter.
In fact, all three finalists are doing pretty well so far.
ZEKE
Again, that shirt.
Zeke then informs the final three that We are in the midst of the evolution ofSurvivorstrategy.
But thereissomething to what Zeke is saying here.
The Strategy Police will not be writing up a citation for Zeke in this instance.
(Tough, but fair.)
Things get a bit heated again with Hannah insisting Adam is very good at taking credit.
Thats another effective jab.
Look, I dont agree with Hannahs arguments.
Ive made that clear.
But I do love how she came to fight at final Tribal.
The problem is, Adams narrative is just better.
probably would have made a bit more sense in this situation.
JAY
Now heres where things get interesting.
I mean, I guess they have already been interesting, but now they get evenmoreinteresting.
Jay asks Adam a very innocuous question about why Adam didnt use him to take out David.
), but whatever.
This is referring to the talk they had on the hammock when Adam revealed his mothers cancer diagnosis.
You know why Im playing this game and why its so important to me, responds Adam.
And you were in the way.
Here was the opening.
You dont have to talk about it, says Jay as Adam fights back tears.
Yet Adam did not go there.
The question I keep asking is: Why?
At the moment, did he not want to use his mothers sickness as a ploy?
Was he worried it would be seen as too manipulative by the jury?
Was he concerned they simply might not believe him and think it to be a Jonny Fairplay-bang out lie?
Or, did he want to pull a Jeremy Collins?
He wanted that to be the last thing in jurors minds before they went up to vote.
Clearly, the end is better, but you never know what that last question is going to be.
What do you do then?
His mother would want him to use it!
(A question I will be sure to ask him when we speak Thursday morning.)
Chris calls it the biggest move in the game.
He praises Adams cunning and intelligence in orchestrating the flip.
Just one small thing: DidntHannahget Ken to flip?
We do not hear her protest, but Ken sure isnt too happy about it.
Whether that is true or not is irrelevant.
Whatisrelevant is whether the jury believes it, and it is clear they do not.
DAVID
I came in under this dictatorship of fear and anxiety, says David.
And Im going to leave it ready for a revolution.
Slow down there, Che Guevara!
In any event, David asks the finalists howtheychanged for the better.
All that is left is for Jeff Probst to transport the votes IN THE MOST BORING MANNER POSSIBLE!
back to the United States so Adam can claim his million-dollar prize.
Were not done there is a whole reunion show to get to.
Who will be snubbed?
In the most shocking twist of all, the reunion action stays completely on the stage.
It is just Probst talking to the players.
And I gotta say, I loved the old-school feel of the reunion show in that way.
No, Probst didnt talk to everyone, but I never feel like thats necessary anyway.
After all, did we really need to hear from Lucy?
Of course, the best part was watching Adam talk about his mom.
Well, thats not entirely true.
The best part was that dragon perched on Michelles shoulder.
You could see the entire cast drying their eyes behind him, and with good reason.
And just an incredible season in general.
But were not done yet, people!
Weve got goodies for you.
Like the exclusive deleted scene from the finale below.
And ouraforementioned Q&Awith Jeff Probst aboutSurvivor: Game Changers.
(you could hear live interviews with the finalists on EW Radio at 9 a.m.
ET on SiriusXM, channel 105.)
Of course, for tons ofSurvivorscoop sent right to you, follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
What did you think of the finale?
Did the right person win?
Did Davids fake idol top Bob Crowleys?
Did you cry like a baby during the reunion?
Hit the message boards to weigh in!
But thats going to do it for me.
Another season of recapping in the books.
Thanks so much to everyone for reading this nonsense (all 8,400 words of it).
I cant tell you how much I appreciate the kind words you all leave here and on Twitter.
It makes it all worthwhile.
