just take your seats.
Feel free to fill in those front few rows, dont be shy.
Im your professor, Dalton Ross.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
Ah, the possibilities on unperceived existence are indeed limitless and will be discussed at length in this class.
To prove they were indeed cast, they would have needed to be seen.
But back to the tribe swap conundrum.
And two tribes became three.
But still, that was weird, right?
We started with one tribe filled with original Manu and one tribe filled with original Kama.
I cant imagine that deep down the producers were thrilled with that outcome.
The whole point of a tribe swap or expansion is to shake things up.
They want to see what happens when you rip apart alliances.
They want people on the top shifted to the bottom and vice versa.
They want people going from in-the-numbers to out-of-luck and vice versa.
And none of that happened here.
Compare this to the tribe swap last season onDavid vs. Goliathand its kind of a disaster.
Everything just stayed pretty much the same.
But this is also the beauty ofSurvivor.
Hear me out on this, and yes, thiswillbe on the exam.
As I mentioned, I cant imagine the majority of producers were happy with this outcome.
Why would they be?
They leave such matters up to theSurvivorgods and allow the chips and players to fall where they may.
Leave it up the fates.
That would be cool.
Anything that lets luck or player strategy decide, rather than producer interference.
At least thats what we have to keep telling ourselves.
(I do think they should explore going back to that schoolyard pick-em though.
Its been waaaaaaay too long.)
Loser IslandGod, I wish they actually called it that.
Loser Island is a much better name than Edge of Extinction.
Is anyone else sad enough to remember that shows title?
Anyway, it was calledLove Cruise: The Maiden Voyage.
(Suffice it to say there was no second voyage.)
The show aired on Fox and was blatantly terrible.
I watched every episode.
(Again, WHY DO I KNOW THIS?!?)
Im getting off track again.
At least Reem can provide some much-needed sympathy for his plight, having been discarded as well.
Youre not going to be welcomed here with open arms… read the sign, bro!
Sorry, Chris, but YOU JUST GOT REEMED!
A few days later, things are not much better.
Coming to terms with that, maybe thats part of my journey too.
This is actually the most interesting thing we have seen at Loser Island so far.
I dont need constant shots of Reem or Keith complaining about how hard it is.
You dont need to keep selling that angle.
And it only works because Chris is so open about it.
And you know what that means… lots more super-awkward dancing!
And since Kelley and Lauren are close, that means Rick and David are in trouble.
Unless…
Lauren is not looking good.
Or, judging by the puking noises she is making back in the bushes,soundinggood.
The Jeff Probst proclaimed triple threat feels nauseous and misses her parents back home.
you could tell she is just out of it.
Speaking to Lauren before the game, she was a bundle of energy.
But now she appears drained and much more subdued.
Which, by the way, is totally normal.
Often the most excited people to hit the beach have the hardest adjustment once they get out there.
I see it every season.
But usually the people who experience that momentary lapse fight through it and persevere.
(Need I bring up Aubry crying in the shelter on day 1?)
I believe Lauren will as well.
But if she appears too weak, will her tribe give her that chance?
Thats great news for her because now she can just put all this chicken nonsense behind her.
Wait, where are the chickens?
Has anyone seen… DAMMIT!
Yes, Wendy is up to her old tricks.
And some new ones as well.
She starts off by telling her new tribemates that My tribe sucked.
Can I just pause for the cause to note that people get called bullieswaytoo often on this show.
Im sorry, but a bunch of meat eaters wanting to eat a chicken is not bullying.
To set them all free in the middle of the night while wildly gesticulating in a celebratory manner.
Their lives are saved!
This is my master plan.
Wait,thisis your master plan?
Your master plan doesnt involve some sort of strategic jiu-jitsu to get you to the million dollars?
Your master plan is to just carry chickens out of their enclosure?
DO YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN PLAYING THIS GAME?!?
And to think that Wendys new tribemates were even calling her Big Wendy!
And then shestillset free their food source.
No doubt Brandon Hantz and JTia Taylor are somewhere silently high-fiving each other.
Once Again Immunity Is Back Up For GrabsWhy does Probst always say both once againandback up for grabs?
Seems a bit redundant.
And you know something else I love?
That badass dragon looking immunity idol.
And now, with three tribes, Probst has to introduce a second-place idol as well, and itsalsosuper-badass.
I dont even know what it is some sort of bird of prey, it seems.
But it looks dope.
Nice job, art department.
At one point, poor Lauren appears stuck in the middle, unable to move.
But it all (as always) comes down to the puzzle.
Seriously, he lostagain?!?!?
Someones Gotta GoWere like the Cleveland Browns of tribes….
I feel like Im honestly in a nightmare.
And now they have to vote someone out.
(Well, theres yet another puzzle my preseason pick to win has not solved.)
The problem for them is thatLaurenis the one who actually has the idol.
Sure, he may play around like this is a tough decision.
He may go and talk to everyone.
He may say he needs 15-20 minutes to think it over.
But judging on how he protected Kelley last week, we all know what hes going to do.
Its no longer about the tribe now, he says.
And I need a dance partner.
Who can get The Wardog closer to have a go at win a million dollars.
I mean, personally, I would argue Chris, but that may no longer be an option.
Also, will someone hey dance with The Wardog and post the video on social media tout de suite.
We love each other!
promises anchor Rick Devens in his first (and probably last) report.
Spare me the kumbaya, Hands Across America sentiment.
I come toSurvivorfor one reason and one reason only.
Well, thats not entirely true.
But I also come to see people give zero fs as they dash someones dreams on national television.
Im not saying the Tribal Council love-in was complete phony baloney and just a bunch of Hong Kong Phooey.
I mean, I guess I kind ofamsaying that.
But they do have to vote someone out, apparently with a big snake hovering right above the urn.
And then, in the biggest surprise of the season, Devens doesnotgive us a Kool-Aid Man OH YEAH!
upon coming across the Edge of Extinction sign and realizing his game is not, in fact, over.
Im sure it also makes producers happy that Rick is not done.
you’re able to tell that Devens was a go-to for Jeff at Tribal Council.
Now, allow me to tell you what is going onhere.
Weve got an exclusive deleted scene from the episode you might see above.
We also have ourweekly interview with Hostmaster General Jeff Probst.
Okay, now itsyourturn.
How do you feel about the tribe swap/expansion?
Did The Wardog make the right call in siding with Kelley and Lauren?
And will Julie actually pee herself before the season is through?
One can only hope!
In the meantime, Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
