Church of Gay Jesus begins like many recentShamelessoutings have: with a busy morning at the Gallagher house.
The newly engaged Carl comes downstairs, ecstatic to see what Kassidi is cooking up.
Im going to be the best fing wife.
Credit: Paul Sarkis/SHOWTIME
And the best sister/daughter-in-law, considering she bought everyone engagement gifts.
Everyone is given cool, actual, paid-for gifts, while Carl gets a vial of Kassidis blood.
Hopefully she got a gift receipt.
Absent from the eventful breakfast is Fiona, whos painting her new apartment.
The conversation then shifts to Ford when he texts Fiona an invite to go furniture shopping.
Ive never waited this long for someone to bang me, she quips to Nessa.
This doesnt stop her from meeting up with him, and it ends up being worthwhile.
No banging, but he does get her a big discount on a very expensive chair.
Slight problem: Hes not offering her a chance to be his wife.
She responds by punching him right in the face, like Frank with the little girl.
This is spy s, he argues, asJames Bond-pop in music plays.
Its in your DNA.
She realizes theyre homeless and offers to speak to Trevor about finding them some housing.
Lips left speechless and in shock.
He heads for Youens house, where hes surprised to find the mans previously absent daughter, Tabitha.
She reveals that he had a seizure due to alcohol withdrawal and hit his head.
Theres going to be a memorial service tomorrow.
Elsewhere, Ian has officially become a superstar.
I guess they just want to be seen by someone who sees them back, he tells his coworker.
He does just that when he preaches in front of a large group at the Gallagher house.
Hes like a prophet, and hes super hot too, like Hot Gay Jesus, opines Kassidi.
This gives Frank an idea on how to make money off of his sons new popularity.
A freshly arrived Fiona is curious about whats going on.
Just a queer religious rebellion led by your brother, explains Frank.
The next day, Carl returns home to find his military clothes cut up and scattered on the lawn.
Kassidi insists that shell die if theyre separated.
To calm her down, Carl reluctantly agrees to get married.
They immediately go to do so, but the courthouse tells them their marriage certificate isnt effective until tomorrow.
Whats Debbie up to?
Well, shes left her gig as a dog sitter/drug thief to take on some shady welding gigs.
While his sister is dealing with physical pain, Lip is facing the emotional kind.
Realizing he wasnt the only one, Lip crumples up his eulogy and leaves.
Everything I was going to say was already said, he replies.
Tabitha gives him a draft of a recommendation letter her dad was writing about Lip.
He reads it and then gives it back, adding, I think Im too angry to keep it.
She begins crying and he consoles her.
You are so very much yourself and you dont even have to try, he shares.
And frankly, you scare the fing s out of me.
They make out at the bar and then have a lot of sex back at his place.
The intimate moment is interrupted by a call from Nessa.
It turns out Rodneys family has the audacity to rent out Fionas apartment to other homeless people.
And as if that werent ballsy enough, theyre suing her for $6 million.
Motherfer is right, Fiona.
She seems okay with it.
However, her actions soon tell a different story.
He arrives just in time to save her.
She uses this moment to once again pressure him into an impromptu wedding.
Ian asks his sister for a ride to his big speaking engagement.
He admits that hes scared sless and feels like he has to do it.
Everyone thinks I have something to say, he shares.
What if I dont?
Initially nervous, Ian quickly gets comfortable in front of the packed house.
The most shameless character of the week:Kassidi.
What did you think?
How do you feel about Ians recent story arc?
What do you expect in the seasons final two episodes?
