The 25-year-olds post is far from the first time she has opened up to fans.
Im surrounded by people who are supposed to guide me, and some of them have and others havent.
Theres so much pressure.
Credit: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images
Until recently, I had given into that pressure.
I lost sight of who I was.
I listened to opinions of people, and I tried to change who I am.
Kevin Mazur/WireImage
Because I thought others would accept me for it.
And I realized I dont know how to be anything but myself.
ina speechat WE Day California in 2014
People piss me off so much.
Taylor Hill/FilmMagic
Ive got the fire in me for sure.
I think people want it to be different.
Were too young for that.
And I think he respects me, in a healthy manner.
toElle
Im growing up.
Im not saying, This is it: Ive got life figured out, everybody.
Im going to fall on my face continuously.
But Im excited to have this sense of control of my life.
Ive been working since I was 7.
Ive been a UNICEF ambassador since I was 17.
Its so disappointing that Ive become a tabloid story.
It took away everything I loved about this business.
on the constant negative gossip, to Billboard in October 2015
No.
This is my time.
This is all me.
on whether she took any inspiration from Biebers career reinvention forRevival, toBillboard
I hated the quiet moments.
I feel like I couldve lived with my parents forever.
But I was angry I even felt the need to say that.
Its awful walking into a restaurant and having the whole room look at you, knowing what theyre saying.
I locked myself away until I was confident and comfortable again.
Just because its not plastered everywhere doesnt mean I didnt have my rock bottom.
toBillboard
I was in a bikini and got publicly ripped for being overweight.
That was the first time Id experienced body-shaming like that.
I believed some of the words they were saying.
Id sit down in an interview and get the most harshly asked questions.
Of course I got my heart broken.
Of course I was pissed about it.
There, everybody has it.
I was so disappointed, because I never wanted my career to be a tabloid story.
And I love every choice that Ive made.
Because now I understand how to apply that to my music.
This is who I am.
Im glad my life was never perfect.
I had to learn to be myself.
toW, in February 2016
Im so exhausted.
I honestly am so done.
I care about his health and well-being.
But I cant do it anymore.
on talking about Bieber
Its either of two extremes.
Thats the girl that I am.
I got diagnosed with lupus.
My mom had a very public miscarriage.
So I had to cancel my tour.
And I wear my emotions on my face, as you just have witnessed.
And I dont care, thats who I am.
I wanted to get his attention, even though maybe it was too much.
So I just said, Ask me anything you want.
And I said, I have lupus.
I was in the ICU for two and a half weeks.
I was in this exact same room.
And it was the first time that he looked at me.
Is it fun to have it?
on getting treated for lupus, toGQ
Were easy targets.
Every single kid who was brought up like this is an easy target.
Do I love this?
Maybe I love this person.
on the effects of growing up in the spotlight
Because its, I dont know, fun, maybe?
Its like watching a car crash as youre driving past it.
You want to watch it.
I had to stop, cause I had everything and I was absolutely broken inside.
Im not different from what I put out there.
Ive been very vulnerable with my fans, and sometimes I say things I shouldnt.
But I have to be honest with them.
My self-esteem was shot.
I was depressed, anxious.
I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage.
Basically I felt I wasnt good enough, wasnt capable.
I was so used to performing for kids.
I couldnt say, Everybody, lets pinky-promise that youre beautiful!
But I wasnt figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share.
And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, This is a waste of time.
It was one of the hardest things Ive done, but it was the best thing Ive done.
on undergoing treatment in Tennessee
My mom gave up her whole life for me.
Where were from, you dont really leave.
So when I started gaining all this success, there was a guilt that came with it.
I thought, Do I deserve this?
on becoming so famous at such a young age
I wish more people would talk about therapy.
We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.
I just really cant wait for people to forget about me.
I came out, and it felt like, OK, I can only go forward.
And there are still days.
I go to therapy.
I believe in that and talking about where you are.
But Im in a really, really healthy place.
And it was hard, obviously.
Because of social media, because of all the pressure that girls have, its so difficult.
But it also allows people to think they need to look or be a certain way.
I was all over the place.
You cant help it.
Its very hard to find out who you are during all that mess and pressure.
I wont share things that I dont want to.
Ive wanted to be in a strong headspace for years, and I really wasnt.
Before, I was so young and easily influenced, and Id feel insecure.
You want someone to add to your life, not to complete you, if that makes sense.
Im lucky because hes more of a best friend than anything else.
She gave me the ultimate gift and sacrifice by donating her kidney to me.
I am incredibly blessed.
on herkidney transplantin summer 2017
A version of this story originally appeared on PEOPLE.com.
