The horror and heartbreak of the bombing in Manchester, England were unfolding.
Threaded throughout these messages, I saw one meme being shared and reshared.
The photo of him is accompanied by these words.
Fotos International/Getty Images
My mother would say to me, Look for the helpers.
You will always find people who are helping.
Some wonder if he really said this.
Often quotes online that seem too perfect to be true are exactly that.
But no, Mister Rogers really said it.
He said it often.
Then I scrolled a little further and found this tweet.
The dates a little off.
But that notion of 50 years hit me hard.
And itstirred up a memory of himfrom long ago.
When I got older, I learned firsthand that Fred Rogers was the real thing.
It was no act.
Mister Rogers Neighborhoodran until 2001, but I lost touch with it as I got older.
Thats how it goes.
But in college, one day, I rediscovered it, just when I needed it.
I was having a hard time then.
The future seemed hopeless.
I was a student at the University of Pittsburgh but felt rudderless.
I wanted to be a writer but received nothing but discouragement from home.
It seemed just as likely that Id fall on my face and end up nowhere.
One span of time in winter of 1996 was especially bad.
I was angry, alone, unhappy.
Memories came back of him asking me what I do with the mad that I feel.
(I had lots to spare.
It feels silly to say it felt silly then but I stood mesmerized.
His show felt like a cool hand on a hot head.
I never sat down, but I watched the whole thing.
Afterward, I left feeling … better.
The doors opened, and who is standing there but Mister Rogers.
I stepped aboard the elevator, staring, and he nodded at me.
Chances are, he could sense a geek-out coming.
But I kept it together.
We rode down in silence, and when the doors opened, he let me go out first.
Thinking back, there were maybe two others in the elevator with him.
University people, perhaps, seeing him out from whatever meeting theyd had.
(And with him, how could you not wait and be polite?)
Then finally…
Mister Rogers…
I dont mean to bother you.
But I just wanted to say thanks.
I imagine this sort of thing happened to him about every 10 feet.
Then he said: Did you grow up as one of my television neighbors?
I felt like crying.Yeah.
I was his neighbor.
He opened his arms, lifting his satchel in the air, and beckoning me in.
Its good to see you again neighbor.
I got to hug Mister Rogers, everybody!
I pulled it together.
Then we were walking out and making small talk.
He asked if I was a student at the university, and what I was studying.
I mentioned being a big fan of Johnny Costa, who was the piano player on his show.
Then he opened the student union door and said goodbye.
He listened there in the doorway.
When I ran out of words, I just said, So … thanks for that.
He looked down, and let the door close again.
He undid his scarf and motioned to the window, where he sat down on the ledge.
This is what set Mister Rogers apart.
No one else wouldve done this.
He said, Do you want to tell me what was upsetting you?
And I told him the truth.
I told him my grandfather had just died.
Pap was one of the few good things I had.
On top of everything else.
This was just too much.
Mister Rogers asked how long ago my Pap had died.
It wasnt long, and I was still torn apart.
His grandfather was obviously gone for decades.
Mister Rogers also still missed his grandfather, still wished he was there when he needed him.
Youll never stop missing the people you love, Mister Rogers told me.
His grandfather had given Mister Rogers a small boat as a reward for something.
Grades, or graduation.
Something hed worked hard to accomplish.
Those things never go away, Mister Rogers said.
Im sure my eyes looked like stewed tomatoes.
How long did that encounter last?
I never saw him again after that.
But that helper quote?
Thats who he was.
Mister Rogers was for real.
Over the years, Ive learned a lot about the man he was.
Some of it was surprising.
I suppose now that was the point.
Mister Rogers saw people.
He saw through and around the things that confuse or distract others.
He saw these people.
He sawme, a struggling young man who needed some kind words.
The wonderful news is, hes still here.
I was married, I had found that dream job.
He was only 74.
I sat at my computer with tears in my eyes.
But I wasnt crying over the death of a celebrity.
I was mourning the loss of my neighbor.
