The experience filming the series affected her so much that she threw a rock through a glass door.

WARNING: This post contains spoilers from theBig Little Liesseason finale.

Read at your own risk!

The result is some of Kidmans finest work of her career, but getting there was no cake walk.

Here, we talk to Kidman about the challenges of embracing Celeste.

We can change this.

She deals with her child with love instead of punishment.

That to me is Celestes shining moment.

Thats her heart and I love thats the choice there.

She knows shes responsible.

Though they werent seeing [the abuse], they were absorbing it.

And thats devastating to her.

Its also why she can finally leave.

And that just cuts me to my core.

There are so many different ways to go with all of these women.

And everyone in different ways to different women.

There were days and days of doing a lot of aggressive, really violent scenes.

And I would go home and have a shower or have a bath and I would weep at home.

And it would be like, Oh my gosh, what is happening to me?

And then one day, I just got a rock and threw it through a glass door!

Where I was staying.

And I threw a rock.

Ive never done that in my life.

And then I just started crying and crying and crying.

It just penetrated my psyche in a way a film never had.

Thats probably why I built up this pent-up…

It was very confronting and I felt very exposed and embarrassed at times.

My emotions were so blurred with hers.

I think all of it became just blurred.

A lot of the things that we did, we were just very open with each other.

We were very safe.

We created a bubble that we existed in and then wed walk away from it.

And we wouldnt ever talk about it.

But you went home with bruises, right?

This wasnt all done with a stunt woman.Yeah.

I dont know if he had any bruises.

(Laughs) But I did; I was covered in them.

My body was in pain.

Thats how I describe it.

I dont usually take Advil and I would take Advil.

I was living through it.

Its insidious how these things happen.

The things that start to become normal when they arent normal and the things we allow.

And how a relationship can morph into where both people in it are not bad people.

And he is very sick.

The biggest word I hear is obsessed.

Its very out there.

Its avante garde art.

Im so schizophrenic in my tastes.

People are like, Oh my god, who are you?

I like the high-wire act of it.

I believe in not towing the line.

Conformity is what I run from.