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ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Why did you want to write this book?
Was it an immediate “yes”?
Charles Sykes/Getty Images; Simon & Schuster
It absolutely was not immediate.
I needed to know before I said yes that I was committed to seeing it through to the end.
He was talking to his best friend Jen, and she later told me this.
He whispered to her, “just don’t forget me.”
When she told me that, it just fing crushed me.
Just devastating to hear.
I really liked that you didn’t look back on the relationship with rose-colored glasses.
Why was it important to you to be that honest?
If I painted it as this fairy tale, it would have undercut the whole story.
It was not an easy 13 years.
We had ups and downs, and we fought to be together.
And thank God we did.
It makes it more hopeful in a way.
Your relationship was a hard-won thing.
And every relationship has their problems.
To hide that stuff just didn’t really seem like an option.
You mean in the writing of the book?
There’s theBrokeback Mountainthing in there where I was just standing in Kit’s closet with his wardrobe.
[Ausiello writes about breaking down while cleaning out Kit’s closet after his death.]
How did you balance the book’s fun TV references with the gravity of Kit’s illness?
Where it was organic, I included it.
We spent a lot of time watching television.
We spent a lot of time fighting over television.
I talk about howRuPaul’s Drag Racegot us through some really tough months of chemotherapy.
Do you still watchDrag Racenow?
That’s the one thing I can’t do.
That’s the one thing I can’t bring myself to do.
It’s just too painful that was something that was too special for us.
And I’m not ready to go there yet.
Was there any aspect of writing the book that was easier than you expected?
How did things come back to you?
Were you a journal keeper?
I was not a journal keeper, however, I was an artifact and memento keeper as was Kit.
Oh, and also Kit was a big photographer.
What aspect of the book are you proudest of?
I’m really proud of the title.
When did that come to you?
A couple months into the writing process.
It needed to be a little bit of a bait-and-switch, which would mirror the book itself.
And I feel like the title just sort of captured all of that.
It’s great it’s a nod to your job and life.
Right, and the added layer of “spoiler alert” plays into my job.
On so many levels, it worked.
There never was another title that was considered.
What do you hope that readers are left with after they finish the book?
We worked through it, and we fought through it.
And again… thank God we did.
I really want people to not take their relationships for granted.
It’s cheesy to say, but hold their loved ones closer and cherish the relationships.
That’s exactly how I felt reading it.
Oh good, I’m glad.
And also, don’t underestimate the power of humor in getting you through a really shitty ordeal.
