Not even a teleporting dog can rescue this botched mission.
There are so many boring ways to portray a fantasy civilization, andMarvels Inhumanshas them all.
See: Attilan, the top-secret moon city populated by a frowning race of gene-tweakers.
Its likeX-Menmovies before they got colorful, or theMatrixmovies without the dance party.
Yes, here in our decadent age of Hollywood superheroes, someonefinallymade a high-tech slap bracelet.
Early word onInhumanswas toxic.
The first two hours were filmed in IMAX, released to empty theaters.
Im sad I missed it on the big screen, truly.
There are some lovely establishing shots of Hawaii, and even terrible acting looks impressive on 70-foot faces.
Shrunk to normal size, the shows merely mediocre.
Strong-silent Black Bolt (Anson Mount) is King of his race.
His voice is a weapon, so he cant speak.
(Todays despots prefer tweeting, anyways.)
The Inhumans live in tight quarters, and Maximus thinks its time for an aggressive earthward expansion.
Hitler called this concept lebensraum, and (important to remind everyone!)
Maximus hates his society because it spurned him so.
When an Inhuman comes of age, they take a steam bath in the Terrigen Mist.
Some get powers cool wings, weird feet, trendy hair.
Some getnothing, and thats poor Maximus.
Hes merely human, symbolically impotent.
Rheons best known for playing Ramsay Bolton, the boy your parents warned you about, onGame of Thrones.
(You know, Sherlock powers: anticipate everything, see symbols floating in the air.)
The Royal Family scatters across Oahu.
Someone hangs out with a kindly-cool group of surfers.
Theres a poorly-staged fight scene where someone dies, but what a twist they arent actually dead!!!
Its all so colorless, which is a bummer.
Kirby crafted far-out visions on a deadline for a pittance.
This is a big year for Kirbys spacier visions: Ego the Living Planet inGuardians of the Galaxy Vol.
2, the hints toward Apokolips in theJustice Leaguetrailers.
Whereas thisInhumansshow represents all the worst instincts of Marvels TV arm.
The plot is also the feeling you get watching: Witness cosmic imagination brought down to boring Earth.C-
