Thisis our sport, Schneider says of the Bravo reality series.
Reunions are our Super Bowl, adds Wilson.
Between bites of salad and sips of Whispering Angel rose, the comedians tap out thoughts on their iPhones.
Credit: SAM COMEN for EW
They squeal as they watch a slobbery kiss between formerHousewifeAlex McCord and her husband, Simon.
Id rather watch my parents have sex!
says Wilson (regardless, she rewinds and rewatches it for good measure).
Afterward, the two compare notes.
Todays agenda: analyzing the episode scene by scene and drinking shots of Modern Alkeme, aHousewife-created clearing tonic.
I might throw up, says Schneider.
She laughs so hard she hits her face on her mic.
At the end of the day, this is a comedy show, Schneider says.
Adds Wilson: Weve gota lotto say.
Grab some Ramona Singer pinot grigio and listen in.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY:Lets start at the beginning.
How did you two meet?
DANIELLE SCHNEIDER:Its not the first time someone has said thats how they met me.
WILSON:I knew Matt before I knew Danielle.
He was very supportive of June [Diane Raphael, Wilsons writing partner] and me.
He helped get our UCB show into the Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival.
SCHNEIDER: Just as your husband has helped me.
He gave me my first job writing in TV onMarry Me.
WILSON:Thats why were friends.
I desperately need her husband.
SCHNEIDER:And I desperately need hers.
Otherwise we have nothing in common.
WILSON:Its a nice friendship.
How didBitch Seshcome about?
Do you want to do this?
The series was about to start.
I dont even think I let her finish the sentence.
I was like, Yes!
Should I come over now?
WILSON:I was like, noteveryoneneeds to have a podcast Ill have one, too.
Why do you think your dynamic works so well?
WILSON:They were like, Guys, its Christmas!
Also, with Danielle, Im not fearful about something [not] being funny.
I know Danielle will take care of it.
How did you get into theHousewivesfranchise anyway?
SCHNEIDER:I got really involved when I was having trouble conceiving.
Im not yelling at my friends like that I never have, never will.
WILSON:I have, and I will.
[Laughs]
What do you think it is aboutHousewivesthat resonates?
SCHNEIDER:Its this common language.
Bitch.The last half hour, I noticed we were both watchingHousewives.
We couldnt stop talking the rest of the trip.
WILSON:Im fascinated by female dynamics, and this one is on a garish scale.
A moment is built out of someone waiting for another person!
SCHNEIDER:We come from a place of love we love these shows and these women.
WILSON:When we did the UCB show, everyone asked, Why theHousewives?
And we said, Because there are no greater roles for women.
Theyre the Medea of our time!
WILSON:TheHousewivespass the Bechdel test.
Do your husbands ever watch with you?
WILSON:David does, but he hates it.
SCHNEIDER:Matt says, I cant go to sleep with these women screaming!
Im like, why cant you tune it out?
I find it relaxing, like Im in my mamas arms.
Have you been surprised by the podcasts success?
WILSON:Danielle and I would have been happy just doing this for ourselves.
In this business were all trying to control our career, and laughably, theres zero control.
Its gotten a great response, more so than things Ive worked tirelessly on.
WithBitch Sesh, youre entirely yourselves, not playing a character.
How does that feel?
WILSON:Before I had a baby, I had a lot less confidence.
I would have never done something like this I was scared people would think I was mean.
But after I had my son, I thought, Who cares?
Danielle and I are inherently kind people, but we also have acid tongues.
Our intentions are good.
How does auditioning and writing your own projects fit in here?
WILSON:We havent given up our careers yet.
If it ever became too much, we might go down [in episodes] for a while.
WILSON:Were seeing what sticks.
Were also working on a movie, and Im in [Amazons upcoming dark comedy]One Mississippi.
You record every episode from the nook, which seems so magical!
SCHNEIDER:People have asked for pictures, but we want it to be in your mind.
WILSON:Im afraid people are going to be like, Thatsthe nook?
Readers are seeing it now!
Do you have any other recording rituals?
WILSON:We try not to go past an hour I think all comedy is better left wanting more.
And we venture to end on a joke.
Any chance of expanding the podcasts subject matter?
WILSON:We look forward to a day when it can broaden out culturally.
Bitch Seshis available oniTunesandearwolf.com.
