A dragon dive-bombs Jon, and he throws himself to the ground in shock.
Jon and Tyrion have an exchange about Sansa where he reassures he never consummated his marriage.
Jon makes it sound like he doesn’t care but we suspect he secretly does.
Credit: Macall B. Polay/HBO
Nearby, Melisandre and Varys have a chat by the cliff.
We’re reminded that Varys really dislikes sorcerers after that mysterious wizard mutilated him as a child.
I have to die in this strange country, just like you."
Varys isn’t easily rattled, but this psychic foreshadowing visibly throws him.
Does this mean neither of these characters will survive the final season?
Not necessarily, but it certainly doesn’t bode well.
Why,blind dates in Westeros never turn out this well!But they quickly get down to business.
This is like Seven Kingdoms royalty foreplay no,myclaim is dominant andyoursis submissive!
Jon tries to explain the whole White Walker situation.
They are highly impressive leaders who just happen to have wildly different priorities right now.
Eventually, Dany orders Jon to go to his room like he’s a mopey teenager.
Tyrion wisely asks for some action he can take.
Jon requests the dragonglass.
Tyrion’s Hand advice game is spot on this episode (though his battle strategy is incredibly lousy).
“A long time ago nobody believed there could be dragons,” she notes.
Jon asks if this means she believes him now.
It’s really bugging the guy that Team Targaryen thinks he’s nuts.
If Dany ever hopes to attract Jon’s interest, she will have to work on her catchphrase.
He’s made good on his promise to bring Cersei a gift.
Forced to march behind him are his prisoners, Yara, Ellaria, and Tyene.
Yara even wears a leash held by Euron.
I suspect Twitter will have Feelings about this.
At least, unlike Cersei, the degraded prisoners were allowed to keep their clothes on.
“This is making me hard,” Euron declares, but, really, what doesn’t?
Cersei says she will give him the reward he wantsher hand in marriagebut onlyafterthey’ve won the war.
Jaime, we suspect, is just biding his time.
Later, Ellaria and her daughter Tyene are chained in the Black Cells.
They’re both gagged.
This isn’t going to end well, is it?
Enter Cersei, who is not the person you want as your judge, jury, and executioner.
At the time, the move seemed like a horribly unfair overreaction on Ellaria’s part.
Now it seems like the biggest mistake she could have possibly made.
“We all make our choices; you chose to murder my daughter,” Cersei says.
She surprises us by giving Tyene a smooch.
But Ellaria knows exactly what this means.
Ellaria will be forced to watch her daughter perish, unable to touch her or even speak to her.
So this is what HBO’s official episode description meant by “Cersei returns a gift.”
A Lannister really does pay her debts.
The scene challenges us to figure out whose side we’re on, if either of them.
Cersei is perfectly correctEllaria and Tyene killed an innocent victim.
After this, Cersei wants post-torture incest sex.
We then get a scene of Cersei and Jaime in bed the next morning.
It makes Jaime and Cersei’s romance seem … normal.
And did Cersei order her staff to copy her haircut?
She orders the sheets changed, totally not caring who knows who she’s sleeping with.
Perhaps Euron would actually make a good mate for her after all?
There’s somebody at the gate.
We know who that must be, right?
Yet we’re wrongit’s not Arya; it’s Bran!
Somehow we keep forgetting about the Stark who remembers everything.
Sansa is thrilled to have her younger brother back home and hugs him.
Bran just stares at her like she’s data to be computed.
Last season’s Three-Eyed Raven download of all Westeros and Essos history has fried his personality circuits.
Sansa offers to let Bran take over ruling Winterfell for her (because patriarchy).
But he’s totally uninterested.
Bran doesn’t want power; he already has far more power than he knows what to do with.
Now she’s realizing that even though he has physically returned, the brother she knew is gone forever.
Nobody likes a know-it-all, especially one who can watch you when you’re naked.
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The Citadel:Ser Jorah is cured!
And at least the arch-maester is dutifully impressed by Samwell’s efforts.
“You should be proud,” he says, and our hearts swell for Sam.
This actually seems rather fair.
But Grey Worm is all dressed up with hardly anybody to kill.
They discover the Lannister armies have already moved out and have gone to Highgarden.
But look: ships!
We see all this unfold to Tyrion’s smug narration about how things were supposed to go down.
Jaime has a job to do and isn’t hugely thrilled about it.
He finally gets to kill off a majorGame of Thronescharacter and she’s a beloved and helpless grandmother.
Wait, did we actually call Olenna helpless?
She’s still armed with her famously barbed tongue.
Olenna then marvels at Cersei’s cruelty.
“She’s a monster, you know that,” she says.
“You poor fool.
She’ll be the end of you.”
She’s trying to plant some seeds of doubt in Jaime’s mind.
Jaime puts poison in front of Olenna that he says is painless.
She gulps it almost immediately.
Her fate sealed, Olenna reveals that she’s the one who orchestrated Joffrey’s death.
“Tell Cersei,” she says.
“I want her to know it was me.”
Will Jaime listen to her warnings, we wonder?
Just because she’s trying to undermine Cersei doesn’t mean it wasn’t good advice.
Her reveal could also impact our major characters down the road.
Jaime was never convinced Tyrion killed Joffrey, but now he knows for certain that his brother was framed.
(Tyrion really did murder their dad, however, so there’s still that to get over).
So where does this all leave us?
But we’ve seen Dany put in a corner before.
And we know what she does to her enemies when she gets there.
Who was the first victim of poisoning to appear on Game of Thrones?
