Drama heats up between Patrick and Cheyenne as things cool down between Brandon and Jallen.
Also, everyone’s moms come to visit!
You know, kind of like Fire Island the place.
Instead we getLogo Presents the Dead Parents Hour Brought to You by Kleenex.
If I wanted weepy drama, Id stream a Meryl Streep movie on the Netflixes.
It starts with Jorge, who is upset that its his fathers birthday.
and not worry about judgment.
No one wants to do any of that in front of someones mom.
When will it end?
Next up is Khasans mom, who is gorgeous and gregarious and looks exactly like her very attractive son.
She gets off the ferry with a half-finished drink in her hand.
First she tells us about being gunned down in high school in Compton when she was pregnant with Khasan.
Then she tells us how his father abandoned her and Khasan.
I mean, there are episodes ofSix Feet Underthat are less depressing than this.
In the morning, Khasans mom meets his BF while cooking breakfast.
But its also weird that everyone on this show has a boyfriend.
Isnt that a little antithetical to the fun-time hookup vibe that the show wants?
Again, its just not what I want it to be.
I just cant anymore.
This is not what I signed up for.
The one bit of drama that we have to discuss is Brandon and Jallen, and even thats sad.
I mean, everyone heard exactly what he was up to on the beach.
He wasnt fooling anyone.
Instead Brandon keeps giving him hope.
Down the line, who knows?
Um, you know.
You know, and the answer is that you dont want to have babies with this gargantuan Mormon gay.
Hes the real victim here.
Hes not even on the show, and hes been humiliated the worst.
But finally, at the end of the hour,Fire Islandis the show I want it to be.
Thats the closest the show has come to approximating what its like to be in a Fire Island house.
But theres a very simple reason why the beach is desolate.
That is, you know, where the sun sets.
God,Fire Islandcant get anything right.
