Dateline: Hollywood, California.
Hello, montage of Lee Remick, Ann Bancroft, and Geraldine Page!
And goodbye, because we dont care about you.
Credit: Suzanne Tenner/FX
But wait, is that Sarah Paulson jauntily waving in that three-second Geraldine intro?Allsignspointtoyes.)
Definesnub, she replies drily.
And after the credits sequence (which is still just the best, isnt it?
), Catherine Zeta-Jones is back as Olivia de Havilland circa 1978.
I should be kinder, I want to be, Bette admits of her continuing friction with Joan.
But she sets meoff.
And no comment wont cut it.
Its like a creamy, champagne-velvet slice of fluffy deliciousness: furniture tiramisu.
Out comes the all-star Rolodex, and the campaign of phone-call slander begins.
I dont mean today, or on Oscar night.
I have been in competition with that goddamn woman for my entirecareer.
A constant battle for men, for roles, for magazine covers.
And I dont know why.
I was the bigger star!
is her witness, Bette wont walk off with that Best Actress statuette Joan will.
Well, that sounds perfectly sane and sensical considering Joan is, of course,not freaking nominated.
But there she goes, calling Geraldine Page (yay, Paulson!
You were worth the wait) and psyching her out harder than a KGB agent.
Shell help her with her Oscars dress!
Amazingly, in some kind of Jedi mind meld, it works.
Just not the way Joan thinks.
Youre actually going to let that high-strung show pony represent you at the Oscars?
Pages boyfriend asks incredulously after she hangs up.
Well, she needs it, a heavy-hearted Geraldine replies.
And besides, Hollywood should be forced to look at what theyve done to her.
Except she guesses what Joans there for before she even has to ask.
Would it make her happy to accept the award for her as well, if she wins?
He also has some hard truths for her, as an old friend: Listen.
Try and take it from her the night.
Except she isnt, she tells him sadly.
Every night when I watch television in bed I hold it, Bette confesses.
Hes the perfect companion he doesnt talk back, hes patient, he listens.
God, thats sad.
Olivia disagrees: As a woman heading toward her second divorce, I get it.
I get it completely.
Tonight Im bringing you home a baby brother.
Annnnd its showtime: Lights!
It worked, didnt it?)
Enter Bette, and the tension between the two of them is MMA-level intense.
Can you blame her?
Back at Bettes house, it feels more like a wake.
I could have madehistory, she laments.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
a devastated Bette howls, then apologizes: Im sorry.
I just thought for a moment that I was back in the game.
This is only petty larceny!)
Beating Bette might have tasted sweet in the moment, but its still a hollow victory.
BEST LINES
Its an honor just to be nominated.
Not a third Oscar: her tenth nomination, her eighth loss.
You taught me how to fight.
And boy, did you fight for me at the beginning of my career.
Olivia de Havilland to Bette
And now here you are, fighting for me at the end of mine.
