The Kirkman administration goes to war
Michigan!
TheWest WingStuff
The press is getting antsy.
Why hasnt the U.S. bombed anything yet?
Credit: ABC/Sven Frenzel
The journalists want to know.
Bad idea, though: Carter is pretty bad at press secretary-ing.
Sensing all this, speechwriter Kal Penn/Seth Wright gives Carter some tips.
Mainly, he just tells Carter to stop sucking.
At first, it works.
But then he messes up by violating the first rule of being press secretary: being honest.
(Well get to the Royce story later.)
Kal Penn, it turns out, happens to be a natural at the position.
Although his first question on the jobwasa bit of a softball: Who are you?
Soon, however, everyone will know who is.
Cregg would be proud.
Surprise: He still does!
So, Royce can go back to treating Muslims poorly, which he does.
Straight out of the Kennedy playbook, Emily says, referring toJFKs battles with the Deep South over desegregation.
Emily observes it all.
Its weird no one has thought about this yet.
Anyone in a high-school American Studies class (and not even an AP one!)
couldve pointed that out to Kirkman.
Her:#NotAllMuslims.
Him:What about radical Islamic terrorism?
Her:Nope, shut up.
Ken Bone:Sup guys!
But the jokes on Royce.
Royce just got Kieferd.
The First Lady promises to help.
Thats about the extent of it.
KimblesTrue Colors
For the first time in American history, the U.S. Congress is a full 50 percent female.
Unfortunately, that female is Kimble.
For a while there, it was hard to read her.
What does Kimble want out of all this?
Is she helping Kirkman byTeam of Rivals-inghim, or is she trying to snake his job?
But now it looks like shes going to be an outright political adversary.
Shes displeased with the way Kirkman is handling… well, everything.
Kimble pulls Cheif of Staff Aaron aside to talk to him, political operator to political operator.
Kirkman is a bad president wholl never last, she says Aaron has hitched his wagon to a footnote.
Im not quite sure how I feel about this setup.
As weve mentioned many times,Designated Survivors elevator pitch is more or less The West WingmeetsHomeland/Quantico.
Thats already a lot for one show, but doable.
But when someone adds oh, plusHouse of Cardstoo!
Meanwhile, everyone else in the room silently looks at Kirkman for approval.
And as usual, Kirkman decides to not bomb anything.
They should know this by now.
Healwaysdecides to not bomb anything.
This show should be calledDesignated Guy Who Doesnt Bomb Anything.
Yet its not that simple this time Kirkmanwouldpull the trigger if it werent for that American in harms way.
I never thought Id be in a position to decide who lives or dies.
But maybe thats why Im not president.
Another person who is also not president is General Angryman, though hes starting to act like he is.
Kirkman finds out and is livid.
One day when you become president, it’s possible for you to make that call, Kirkman says.
General, you are fired!
I think it wouldve been cooler if he said General, youve been Kieferd!
But, again, Im not the president.
Still, in the end, Kirkman caves anyway.
General, Kirkman says with the solemnity of a thousand Jack Bauers, Prepare us for war.
So she goes to his familys house to show him and his wife her smoking-gun evidence.
Its messing up her head.
But of course, according to law, allDesignated Survivorepisodes must end with a Maggie Q-related twist.
No one on the show seems to care about that at all.
You could milk an entire episode with that kind of delicious irony!
