Um, tell us something we dont know, Marcia Brady.
There are tiny bikes being ridden by rain boots, acrobats hanging from the ceiling, and fire.
Could that was almost death be the new tagline forDWTS?
Credit: Eric McCandless/ABC
Its intense, people.
The dance is fast, fun, and full of seamless lifts.
And good news: Since its Cirque night, Carrie Ann is throwing her lift deductions out the window.
She even applauds Calvin for his ability to keep fluid movement in and out of those big lifts.
All that sweating was worth it.
Give that man a towel!
Maureen and Artem are having a tough week.
Should he even be dancing anymore?
Artem, pull yourself together.
You are a gift to all of our eyeballs.
But honestly, can giant drums as your music signal any other kind of dancing?
The judgesandMaureen are completely wowed.
Juliannes headband thought Maureens posture was spot on, and we all know that headband is a real stickler.
At least, thats the story Jana and Glebs routine seems to tell.
Like Maureen and Artem, Jana and Gleb get a little frustrated in rehearsals.
Its to be expected though, since Jana is traveling on tour and getting minimal sleep.
But in the end, Jana and Gleb make up and promise to simply dance for each other.
Theyre really feeling the love from The Beatles LOVE, I guess.
As it turns out, those little hippies dance quite the elegant routine.
All the judges are big fans.
In other news: I could listen to Bruno talk about stellar underarm passes all night long.
The heart wants what the heart wants.
Unfortunately, it also seems to be getting in the way of her nailing her routines.
Shes too much in her head, not enough in her body.
If she could be more consistent, shed be great.
When in doubt, just let the Hough twirl some cape-like props.
Shell get there eventually.
And if not, just add more capes.
Amber felt body-shamed, but Julianne says she was only critiquing the dancing.
Regardless, all it does is fuel Ambers desire to be true to herself on the dance floor.
Shes not holding back anymore.
This is great news for Maks since he knows theyve been handed Cirques burlesque show: Zumanity.
Amber wants to show off her sexuality, and this is the number to do that.
Shes never looked more relaxed during a routine.
In regards to both, its working!
With each passing week, Ryan seems like he is more confident and comfortable out on the dance floor.
The guy is having fun.
Ryan Lochtes back in the pool!
Pulling from his gracefulness in the water really does wonders.
Its the best hes looked on the floor, and the judges take notice.
They can tell Ryans taking their critiques to heart and they see the improvement.
Ryans reward: His first eight of the season, courtesy of Bruno.
First, there were chills.
Babyface and Allisons package was all about how it is imperative that they hit their marks in their tango.
The staging of their routine is all about spotlights all over the dance floor.
If they over-step, theyre in the dark.
Once it ends, Babyface is smiling, but he fully admits that it was a disaster.
Not smiling so much?
She is disappointed and braces herself for the judges critiques.
The judges are just glad Babyface could admit he went wrong.
Rather than kick a dude when hes down, they simply tell Babyface that hell get them next time.
Also, its fast.
And finally, it is very, very fast.
See what I mean?Aww.
Sashas confidence in his partner rubs off on Terra.
Girl brings her sexy back immediately.
Carrie Ann loves the energy she brings to each dance, her movements are bigger than herself.
But lets get down to whats most important here: Weve seen regular blazer, no shirt.
Weve seen lace blazer, no shirt.
But until tonight, weve never been treated to ZEBRA BLAZER, NO SHIRT.
As previously mentioned,DWTSis the place where all of your dreams come true.
LAURIE AND VAL DO MICHAEL JACKSON.
Laurie is all sass and intention in her movement.
Sure Val is portraying MJ in this routine, but Laurie owns the floor.
No one is looking at the hot dudes, Laurie.
The judges are speechless, and like me, Im sure they just want to see it again.
Vanilla Ice has five concerts in five different cities and wont be back in Los Angeles until show day.
Its not great, and both he and Witney are stressed out.
It turns out to be some of his best work.
Carrie Ann notes that his shoulders are down and hes finally showing some elegance.
Ice is taking this seriously.
Also taking this seriously is that acrobat who spins upside down for almost the entire routine.
Shes the real MVP of the evening.
Those are some pretty good things.
She also gets a stellar performance out of James.
After their surprising first showing, the two have been sliding down the leader board, but not anymore.
James is all Broadway top hat and tails, and not even a little mistake can bring him down.
We all echo Juliannes headband when it asks, Who are you?
Judges Score: 28/30
So, can we do Cirque Du Soleil night again?
