The book publishes on Oct. 23, and is availablefor pre-order.
Everything about Susan and Carols wedding was designed to be as familiar and unprovocative as possible.
And still there was, as Sibbett calls it, a sense of pulling back.
Credit: NBC/Getty Images
She accessorized them each in a decorative hatthe suggestion of a veil, but not quite.
But there was no question that they would be in dresses.
We took it very seriously, McGuire recalled.
Hanover Square Press
In the mid-90s, the gay rights movement was gaining more traction than ever before.
And, as ever, people responded to change with fear.
In 1996, the gay panic defense was still an acceptable legal strategy.
As the policy stated, openly gay people would put the military at an unacceptable risk.
At the time, DADT was seen by many as a win for the gay community.
Polls indicated that most Americans supported the move.
And at least some gay people agreed.
You want to conform.
That was certainly the case on television, too.
Confirmation, assimilation, inclusionwhatever you want to call it.
The character description put it in no uncertain terms.
Susan, it said, was a lipstick lesbian.
There are, of course, many gay women who do dress like Susan and keep their hair long.
Many others prefer short hair and suits.
Actress and comic Lea DeLaria had a small part as one of Carol and Susans guests.
She said of the wedding scene: They needed at least thirty or forty more fat dykes in tuxedos.
All those thin, perfectly coiffed girls in Laura Ashley printswhat kind of lesbian wedding is that?
And no one played softball afterward?
I spoke with television writer Ryan OConnell about this honorable compromise so often made on sitcoms.
When you remove any kind of gay quality from a character, its almost homophobic, he told me.
That series did have gay lead characters, including Jack McFarlanda singing, dancing, sign-waving gay man.
During the shows initial run, Jack was a polarizing character, who many criticized for beingtoorecognizably gay.
OConnell summarizes the backlash: Heres how we went in gay culture: Jack McFarland comes on TV.
Were like, Yay!
Then theres this movement that says, Oh, I dont know.
Jack is very stereotypical.
Gay jokes, he says, werent really the problem withFriends.
Like Beauchamp, he grew up watching it as a gay kid in the 90s.
He heard those jokes everywhere, off-screen and on.
[They] were just so ingrained into the fabric of every show that it didnt even phase me.
The show did depict the first lesbian wedding on television, in prime time.
Kiss or no kiss, that was no small thing.
NBC hired extra temp staff to field phone calls, expecting to hear from thousands of outraged viewers.
In the end, they got two calls.
Almost 32 million people tuned in to watch The One with the Lesbian Wedding.
That is no small thing, either.
Because he needed to warm up to it and be convinced of it.
So, I liked that they showed that side of it, too.
This is so comfortable for me!
Rosss initial reaction, she says, was a pretty authentic mix of hurt, anger, and ignorance.
At one point Ross even tries to convince Carol that they should get back together.
Heres a wacky thought.
Whats say you and I give it another shot?
I know what youre gonna say, youre a lesbian…but theres something right here.
True, hes being unbelievably unfair, and Carol shouldnt have to put up with it.
The talk ends with a brief kiss before she tells him noof course, no.
The scene doesnt come off as offensive, but heartbreaking and intimate.
This the moment when Ross finally comes around, puts his own hurt feelings aside, and steps up.
Look do you love her?…Well, then thats it, he tells Carol.
If my parents didnt want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me.
Look, this isyourwedding.
Is he totally over it?
He might never be.
But its a turning point for him, and for this newly blended family.
Later on at the reception, Susan asks Ross to dance.
You did a good thing today, she tells him.
In 1996, any degree of visibility made an impact.
I wish that there had beenmore.
