The final season ofBonesis obviously still waiting to play its best cards (like next week, maybe?
It had a pancake feud.
It had Booth and Brennan on a log.
Credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX
And any episode where Brennan tries to comfort someone with a wooden bear is okay by me.
What was a moose liver doing in a Virginia dumpster?
Thats another case, probably.
He even tries to con his way into going to a lumberjacking competition in Brennans place.
All men love chainsaws, Rodolfo admits.
He even gets a security guard to back him up.
(Greg, how do you feel about chainsaws?
I love chainsaws.)
Brennan loves field trips with Booth even more, but she promises Rodolfo that shell chatsnap her whole experience.
Phyllis was a natural lumberjack or, as her girlfriend Nancy disdainfully puts it, lumberjill.
(Its good to see this show casually throw an LGBT couple into the mix.)
Helga insists that shed never kill Phyllis; they were training partners.
But people (at least people who arent Brennan) dont go to lumberjacking competitions for the tape measures.
There was also a slur involved.
(Also, this isBones,so itmightbe his given name.)
Jack wins Aubrey over with his sweet, sweet cakes.
Back at the lab, Hodgins finds fungi from plants that could only coexist at a nursery.
Its covered in vegetable oil.Sabotage.
NEXT: Lumbergals being lumberpals
The saboteur probably should have used gloves, but hes not very bright.
Cam finds skin cells matching a volunteer firefighter in the system: Ragnar.
She and Phyllis went on so many weekend lumberjacking trips!
Helga and Phyllis were having an affair.
Booth finallyoh honeys Ragnar right out the door.
They were going to leave Ragnar and Nancy behind and get married.
They even got fitted for rings.
The only thing she has to work with is a small wooden bear on the desk.
She nudges it in Helgas direction: Do you want a bear?
This is easily the hardest Ive laughed all season.
Nancy shows up at the competition to confront Helga (You cant hide from me, you lumberslut!
Jack killed her after all.
Join me in a moment of silence for Aubrey and all the pancakes hell never get to eat.
Without my truck, he reasons, my life was over anyway.
That seems like a stretch.
Booth just wants to let her fall and pick herself up until she gets it.
But to Brennan, the wonder is in the explanation.
But one of them does have to teach Christine to ride a bike.
In the end, it doesnt matter who won.
Now, on to an open-ended mystery that actually needs some closure.
Also a reach: Hodgins finds something in the lobbyists wounds that Brennan supposedly missed.
(Does that even happen?)
Its the killers microbial signature, preserved thanks to the presence of anthrax, and it doesnt match Zacks.
But microbial signatures have never held up in court, and the anthrax is areallylucky break maybe too lucky.
And Cam wouldnt be Cam if she didnt ask the questions that even she doesnt want to ask.
As Hodgins would say: Tension, party of two.
