Okay, enough with that.
Lets get to Wells explaining the terrifying nature of Dr. Jekyll/Miss Jasmine.
Why is this important, you ask?
Credit: Paul Hebert/ABC
Because Christen the girl youll never remember until you see how she spells her name just walked into Mexico.
And her first order of business is to remind us all that shes a virgin.
It makes her different!
Its her only interesting quality!
Her question: Is paradise even paradise without a virgin in it?
Because if anything, paradise is known for purity?
But thats not what matters.
Once Christen goes down that road and asks out Matt, Jasmine decides to shame all virgins everywhere.
(Or, sobriety can be good?
After Matt clears the date with Jasmine, she decides that Christen isnt going to get into her head.
(If only she delivered!)
Thankfully, Amanda is here with my favorite catchphrase: I dont trust anyone who takes scallops to go.
I use that one ALL the time.
Meanwhile, Jasmines mastering the art of subtlety: The devil was a snake.
Yeah, I think we got that one.
Amandas reaction is to invite Robby back to game night.
Translation: back to the very crowded room.
And she denies him!
As suspected, glow sticks are not an aphrodisiac.
Sure, he tries to claim it was sarcastic, but Taylors already checked out.
In other news, I DONT CARE.
The next day, were reminded that Dominique is still here, which is fun.
(Taking that literally, she challenges him to jump over some rocks.
But before he can do that, Lacey yells at him for disrespecting her the other day.
(Way to reaffirm his decision there, Lace.)
She does NOT like hearing that.
But then he tells her that he puts Kristinas feelings before his own, and she LOVES hearing that.
By the end of the conversation, Kristina is feeling great.
As for D. Lo?
She just wants an answer, but Deans not ready to give her one just yet.
One man whos sure of what he wants?
Suddenly, Im very interested in Robbys definition of romance.
And yet he does land a kiss by the end of the night.
Last but not least, we get to the Matt-Christen-Jasmine love triangle.
First up, Matt tells Christen she should probably look elsewhere for her rose.
And then he tells Jasmine goodbye.
You didnt think we were actually getting a rose ceremony did you?
And with that, we end a very exciting hour of…oh, who am I kidding?
I need a pina colada the kind you want to marry.
