This episode was no exception; cast members were dropping like flies.
Poor Tiara… She never really had a chance.
That must have been what Nick said when he talked her into giving him the date card.
Credit: ABC/Rick Rowell
While Tiaras probably off eating some chicken wings, Nick and Jen enjoy her carnival date.
They toss darts at balloons, throw basketballs into hoops, and make out on topsy-turvy rides.
Its time for some definitive answers.
Cards are reluctantly turned over.
Nicks card has a man with one foot in and one foot out.
The resemblance to Nick is uncanny.
Is this a coincidence?
Or the work of an ABC intern?
Being a wise 35-year-old man, Nick understands Jen is probably freaking out about their relationship.
She admits her concern about him holding back.
He reminds her this isnt his first rodeo.
The last time he fell in love in an environment like this, he was burned twice.
Nick wants Jen to know he sees a future with her and his walls are coming down.
Well, hes all in untilseason 21 ofThe Bachelorstarts filming.
Brett begins speaking in past tense and Izzys smile fades to a look of utter exhaustion.
Her reaction of I should go is met with a compassionate Okay.
Izzy manages to make it all the way to her room before melting down.
She fully regrets her decision to say goodbye to Vinny.
Evan shouts from the balcony for her to get her man!
She vows that shes in it to Vin it by calling her true love.
Its the most romantic thing she can do!
Vinny answers the call by asking, Who is this?
#Backburnerburn
Unfortunately, the conversation does not take a turn for the better.
Izzy explains shes leaving paradise because she wants a fairy tale with him.
Vinny reminds her she chose her Prince Charming.
Hes a dork who carries around a lamp.
Theres no turning back.
Now theres a story Disney never told.
The ABC psychotherapist tries to walk Izzy through her panic attack, but shes too far gone.
Another one bites the dust.
The next night, everyone primps for the pending rose ceremony.
To borrow a phrase from Evan, hes in a quadrangle with Jami, Shushanna, and Ashley I.
We are treated to three conversations to better understand what Wells sees in each potential mate.
Hes the most comfortable with Jami.
Clearly, shes not going to walk away with any floral accessories tonight since that makes the most sense.
Ashley thinks he should choose her because theyve known each other the longest.
And by longest, she means one whole day longer than Jami.
Wells compliments Ashley, claiming shes completely different from what he anticipated.
Read: Shes not acting like a crazy dramatic lunatic.
Shushanna has a hard time with falling into third place.
She power-walks right out of the tree house and Wells follows her.
Shes not going to hunt or chase her man.
She wants a man who desires her!
Shu is not going to sit and wait.
She wants to go home.
Why continue the night in fancy clothes that are so binding?
TO THE REJECTION SUV!
The odds are ever in her favor.
Wells looks like hes going to hurl from all the stress.
Hes one step away from flipping a coin.
All the male halves of each couple offer their ladies heartfelt sentiments as the rose ceremony gets underway.
I hope he and his lamp are very happy together.
And then there were five couples.
The next morning, Our Host rolls in with a challenge to the remaining 10 individuals.
He asks them to go off and discuss next steps because the fantasy suites are just around the corner.
If youre staying, you better be willing to put a ring on it.
Shes pretty confidentEvanwont do that to her, of course.
NEXT: Like a virgin
The conversation quickly moves past Evan and Carly to bigger issues: Ashleys virginity.
Ashley is totally willing to let Wells swipe her v-card.
She has way more chemistry with him than with Jared.
Also, she would totally be engaged afterward!
All the ladies feel he would be a great candidate for this momentous occasion.
Meanwhile, Wells wonders if Ashley has any preconceived notions as to what the night may entail.
(OF COURSE SHE DOES!)
Nick says, If you take her virginity, you will be a national treasure.
This freaks out Wells just enough to end it with Ashley.
He doesnt want that particular historical marker erected anywhere near him.
Its time to cut the cord.
Wells explains he doesnt want to go on a fantasy-suite date with Ashley because its too soon.
He cares about her, but thats it.
Hes not sure where their relationship is going, and quite frankly, hes fine with that.
And then there were four couples.
Grant thinks this is fate.
Theyve been talking forever (two weeks) about getting Grace tattooed on their bodies.
Nothing says true love like an amalgamation of their two names in permanent ink.
Thank goodness they didnt decide on guarding and protecting each others hearts.
She leaves but they apparently come back later.
Lace whines about the pain, but in the end, she thinks her tattoo is beautiful.
And since its forever, she decides to drop the L-bomb on Grant.
Jenick
Nick and Jen try paddle boarding, and both fail miserably half of the time.
Shes still irritated they havent had a serious conversation.
Plus, he lives in California and shes in Florida.
Nick knows long-distance relationships can be tough, but hes willing to make it work.
Jen does not consider this a declaration of love, even though Nick intended it as such.
This is what we call foreshadowing.
Evarly
Because they are the weirdo couple, they are given the weirdo date.
Carly still needs Evan to just say he loves her already.
Fortunately, he does at dinner and she says it back.
If Evan proposes, Carly is sure she would say yes.
Jomanda
Josh and Amanda play soccer with a bunch of kids.
As long as theres pizza, he should fit nicely into the picture without any problems, right?
Which couples do you think will leave paradise engaged?
Will Nick be devastated by Jens rejection?
Is that why he was announced last week?
So we can feel sorry for him?
