Heres a selection of our favorite highlights (many NSFW, of course).
It couldve been worse.Morgan doesnt waste any time making light of his car crash.
In his view, it couldve been worse: I couldve been hit by a discount furniture truck.
Credit: Netflix
You know they aint got no fing money.
You still cant beat their prices.
But after my settlement, everything went up a penny.
He looked good, lost weight!
Got that diabetes under control.
Elvis Presley still looked like a piece of s. Cant leave that fine food alone.
Ol Dirty Bastard got 10 new kids already.
Michael Jackson told me what really happened.
He said Tracy, I died in that fing Pepsi commercial.
But the gravy train was so good they got a lookalike, and that motherfer went crazy.
He explains: True story, Florence Nightingale was a nurse in the Crimean War.
She would nurse all the wounded soldiers back to health and theyd fall in love with her.
That happened to me.
Then one day my wife saw that s like, What the f is going on?
I said, No baby I didnt mean it, I love you.
Its just a syndrome.
She said, Yeah, motherfer, guess what?
I got a syndrome too.
Its called the Big Dick Mailman Syndrome.
That s reverberates all the way around the block.
Motherfer, motherfer, motherfer…oh s!
Somebody in the house!
But in the ghetto there aint no echo, theres just a bunch of motherfers yelling at each other.
And if you think somebodys in your house, somebodys in your house.
I aint even mad at the driver that hit me.
But Ill tell you who is mad at him: All my white neighbors.
Preparing for death:After his brush with death, Morgan is now prepared for the real thing.
In one of the specials genuine moments, he talks about being at peace with hit mortality.
If you want to go to other women, cool.
Im a ghost, Ill be haunting you, I might want some girl-on-girl action.
But if you give it to another man, Ill put my ghost foot in his ass.
Staying Aliveis now streaming on Netflix.
