Turns out, the whole Pantygate-Rinna-Eileen-Dorit feud makes my eyes glaze over every single time its brought up. Its a foolproof combination. Um, yeah, okay. Kyle is getting ready for one of her epically disastrous game nights. (Never forget, slut pig came out of a seemingly innocent game night need I say more?) Kim comes over for a bit and Im happy to say she looks great. Honestly, though, she looks good and happy and its really nice to see....

Is Lisa Rinna… a decent person? After last weeks whiplash-inducing episode, Im sorry to report that tonights ep was, well,quitea bore. (Im not even confident that outfit would be acceptable at Coachella.) Credit: Richie Knapp/Bravo Im finding it borderline offensive to continue experiencing Rinna flat-out lying to the camera. Cant we just flash-forward to the reunion already? in to help cook meals. Some are tasked with the difficult chore of scooping granola into a container....

Because thats a normal, non-abrupt topic to bring up at dinner while surrounded by a mere seven others. I dont know that there was ever a time they were any less mean, but sure. Meanwhile, Eden continues to perfect her mannequin challenge-esque way of observing and never once participating. Credit: NBC Its kind of creepy. Rinna doesnt care that everyones ready to attack her because (a) what else is new?...

So, lets get into it, shall we? You know, just typical conversation for a first meeting. LVP and Ken share a delicious-looking red wine-berry cocktail anyone have an in with Rocio for the recipe? Credit: Bravo and quibble about whether Giggys hair is growing. (Its not.) Meanwhile, we get a glimpse at a day in the life of Dorits parenting. (Whats with all the baby-head stuff in this episode?) And as we all know, the most effective therapy is done in front of the camera....

Not that her concerns about Kim Richards welfare arent sincere and all, but GIRL. Theres a time and a place for such sobering conversations, and Lisa Rinnas backyard barbecue aint it. Neither is Kyle RichardsGreat Gatsbyshindig, for that matter. Credit: Bravo Every flippin time I see this woman. Eileens gotten her an audition forThe Young and the Restlessand runs lines with her for a screen test. While the sample dialogue is pretty dull, Erika handles herself pretty well during her reading....

Rinna just can’t help herself… even while on another continent. Like, dont even try. I mean, thats dedication. Credit: Bravo Their first Hong Kong outing entails drinks at the hotel. All of the women are horrified what if hes a serial killer? As an experienced online dater myself, this is a very valid concern. But Eden tells them that she has nothing to worry about. After all,shecould kill him. It really is a bit of a buzzkill, and the women seem to feel that way, too....

I truly think that at this point, an Erika Jayne spin-off is exactly what thisRHOBH-fatigued audience needs. The second-best part about tonightsRHOBHwas Portia making her season 7 debut! More Portia, just. Credit: Bravo Eden says she felt no connection to Kyle, and Rinna reacts with surprise. Iwillknow her, Eden says in a creepily determined way. (Those are some fighting words, Rinna.) Rinna thinks Eden could offer some sort of guidance to Kyle over their lunch because shes Kims enabler....

Lisa Rinna even traveled to a different state! Guys, I hesitantly said it last week, but I really do think the 90210 is back. There, Rinna sells her Lisa Rinna Collection which includes controversial summer sweaters until 12:30 p.m. the next day. Credit: Bravo God bless her stamina. Looks like Eileen has a new work wife. and she needs a new phone. Side note: We need more Portia this season, Bravo producers....

That would never happen, but a girl can dream! Lets talk highlights: First of all, where are we? It looks like Bravo decided to stage the reunion in the waiting room of a spa. Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo I know weve discussed this, but Im still confused by Dorits hair. Did she put on fake bangs only to take them off? Its aRHOBHmystery, and somebody should crack the case. Eileens neckline confuses me, and the more I look at it, the dizzier I get....

Which means the nightmares I finally shook have come back to haunt me. Now lets get to those highlights one last time! Which is exactly where that bunny should be. Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo Dont forget about me! Oh, and not a Xanax in sight. In the background, Rinna asides that being a soap actress is the hardest job in the world. Perhaps a bit feminine, but really pretty.) Were also blessed with never-before-seen footage in which a newly coiffed Giggy is interviewed....

Erika Girardi goes home to Georgia. Kyle throws a party with the Fat Jewish. Another week, another Kyle Richards party. Credit: Bravo Here are the Cliffs Notes: Kyle somehowstilldoesnt think Rinna is a bad person. Eileen, true to form, sticks up for Rinna and applauds her courage. Dorit no longer trusts Rinna. LVP continues to question why Kyle is more upset with Eden than Rinna. She and daughter Sophia are wearing similar chokers, too, but no matter....

This episode is basically scrolling through Twitter and thinking of things to text its friends for an hour. Nuh uh!The Real Housewives of Beverly Hillsis supposed to be wish fulfillment escapism! I spend time with these beautiful she-demons because theyre supposed to be living a life I know not. Credit: Bravo That is not what I need from Kyle Richards and Erika Jayne! Despite the seasons overall lack of plot, Ive oddly enjoyed it....

Only in Beverly Hills, baby. Thats how Ken is about depositing tiny dogs into his button-downs. Is it like skin-to-skin time with newborns? Credit: Bravo Does Ken think he gave birth to these dogs? Does he think theyre all newborn puppies just because theyre tiny? Would he put a full grown Labrador in there?Can you really clone a dog?Whats happening. Now on to far less important things. Havent they been together for, like…a while?...