We open with a shot of the beach seagulls squawking, waves crashing. it’s possible for you to practically smell the salt water. And then the wind shifts and last season hits you like the sudden stench of rotting seaweed. Credit: Tommy Garcia/Bravo We dont see clips from last season, but we hear them the guttural screams! The brutal shouting matches! But I hope she gets to have a story line that doesnt involve her figure this season....

comes out looking like the most normal of the bunch. Heres what went down during this weeks episode: Kelly is…getting a breast reduction surgery. But why stop there? Credit: Bravo Peggy is…also gearing up for a breast surgery, but a different kind than Kellys. And thats about the only nice thing I can say about Peggys behavior this episode. Lydia is…trying to be the Friendship Whisperer again. Both of them are confused wasnt Vicki just calling Tamra asking to meet up and make amends?...

a tense dinner led to some heated confrontations. Heres what went down: Kelly is…no longer a 32G. Vicki is…sick. Credit: Bravo and is barely in the episode. She doesnt having whooping cough, but you might say shes whooping it up at urgent care. Shannon is…getting yelled at by a stationary bike. Meghan is…asking the tough questions. I dont want to open another can of worms, Meghan says during her one-on-one interview....

inspect her new house, and immediately I want this woman to have her own spin-off. Not bad, right?) Linda is not having any of it. Credit: Bravo She tells Vicki to calm down, which is definitely not something Vicki is used to hearing. If any other Housewife did that, itd be a nail-biting confrontation of diva proportions. But when its coming from Linda, Vicki just… takes it? How soon can Bravo produceThe Real Office Managers of Orange County?...

The big rift that’s been dividing the Housewives might be coming to an end…or is it? The great cold war of Orange County is finally starting to thaw. Heres what goes down: Lydia is…telling anyone who will listen about her husbands imminent vasectomy. Credit: Bravo Meghan is…totally over the outdoors. you’ve got the option to imagine how Meghan takes Lydias revelation. In the words ofNew Yorkhousewife Dorinda: Not well, bitch!...

(Hats off to the editors who inserted the seagull noises during awkward pauses.) Are he and his girlfriend, Dani, serious? Because if so, if theres room for her to join the company as well. Credit: Bravo Are they thinking about marriage in the near future? Because Vicki is going to make her son sign a pre-nup. Are they thinking about kids? Because if theyre not using protection, who knows what might happen!...

Her body fat percentage is down by three points! You know, everything you want to hear from your new BFF. This is the first of three awkward meals Peggy has this episode. Credit: Bravo God bless this waitress for trying to pretend that this istotallysomething normal patrons do. The third awkward meal takes place when Peggy meets up with Tamra to finally erase the air. To her credit, Tamra backs down to try tode-escalatethe situation by chalking it up to Resting Bitch Face....

The Housewives all gather in the same room for the first time this season Well, it finally happened. And you know what? They kept it together! Credit: Bravo Just about every single Housewife spent this weeks episode fretting about what might go down. (Or in the words of Vicki, a millenniums thing.) Meghans confused reaction says it all does she actuallylikeanybody shes inviting to this party? Does it transcend the binary of good and bad?...

Shes right and all, but…keeping the peace doesnt secure casting for next season. Tamra wants to drag out this drama as far as she possibly can. Why, start a spin-off feud with Peggy, of course! Credit: Bravo Rumors are already starting to swirl through the group about Peggy and why she had a double mastectomy. The obvious assumption is that she either had breast cancer or the BRCA gene. Youve just earned yourself scapegoat status....

I think she is probably a nice person. Her family seems quite nice. But, oh my God, as a Housewife? Credit: Bravo Im a little over her already. Its not just that shes so reserved in group configs that she makes Meghans boring baby scenes feel likeHomeland. But then again, its television. Bravo is not the place to take a stab at be Switzerland, Peggy! Have some feelings on the matter!...

I may be a bitch in the sesh, but in real life Im a c, joked Schneider. I may be from Virginia, but Im not a virgin…a? mused Wilson immediately after. Credit: Jesse Grant/Getty Images I paid $37 for this navy jumpsuit, stated Schneider. I then spent $127 on alterations to make it actually fit. Wilson then shared her comedic chops by toasting the audience with a sample of Morgans Tipsy Girl prosecco....

Blowing up the world is something that could actually happen, he said on his HBO show Friday night. If you dont think so, you havent seen enough movies. Movies always foresee the future. Credit: HBO And how did earth reach this point in these movies? Always because we did it to ourselves. I know that makes her the bad guy, but did you watch the Republican primaries? I think Im with Meryl on this one....

BritishThe X-Factoralum Rebecca Ferguson is the latest artist to be approached to perform at President-elect Donald Trumps upcoming inauguration. A song that speaks to all the disregarded and down trodden black people in the United States. Then I will graciously accept your invitation and see you in Washington. Credit: Mike Lewis Photography/Redferns Specifically, it decried the horrors of lynching African Americans. See Fergusons tweet below.